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Christmas Living MOMing

Elf on the Shelf Finale

Bella and Charlotte have been a Christmas tradition in our home since 2013. Just when I thought I would move on to another tradition and let everything out of the bag, today I was excitedly informed that Addison had gotten word that Bella and Charlotte are busy at the North Pole packing their suitcases to come see us.

WHYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

 

I think the elves moved a whole 5 times last year. Now I’m left holding my plan in shattered pieces. I am committing to making this the best year ever for her memories. There will not be a next year, Bella and Charlotte will turn into regular Christmas decor in 2018 and find themselves placed amongst the nutcrackers and garland like everything else.

 

 

Maybe I’ll come back with a printable and a fun list of places to hide them to share with you by Wednesday. Please don’t hold me to this.

Excuse me, while I go try to remember where I put them.

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Athleta Girl
Girl Style Living Mama Style MOMing

A Mother World and an Athleta Girl

Thank you  Athleta for powering this post. I was compensated, all opinions are mine.

Christmas Eve 2009, I vividly remember waiting to be called back for my gender scan, and repeating to myself it’s a boy. Once we made it back into the room and the scan was happening  I remember staring intently at the screen waiting for the sonogram to confirm that I was indeed having a boy. Waiting for confirmation on what I had been telling myself since I found out I was pregnant because I didn’t want to be disappointed.

More than anything I wanted a girl. I’d wanted a boy the first time and just knew Lady Luck wouldn’t oblige me twice. By the time I had gotten to the appointment I was good and certain I was having a boy and was good with it.

With baited breath in the darkness we waited as she scanned and measured, and scanned and measured some more and typed important stuff into the computer. Finally she said, ” Do you want to know the sex?”

Uh yeah.

She rolled over my belly a few more times and in the most nonchalant voice said, “It’s a girl.”

My first reply was, “You sure?” I commence to go in-depth about a story I recently read about a lady who was told she was expecting a girl and had a boy instead.

She attempted to soothe my worries by  zooming in a little more. Once I was convinced, I shed a few thug tears. One, because it was a girl and two, it solidified the hanging of the closed sign on the baby shop.

Through every stage of mothering her, I’ve looked forward to another phase that would take me from just nurturing her to being an example, a role model, someone she would want to be like.

Athleta Girl

A lot of my mothering decisions hinge on me wanting my children to have fond memories of their childhood with me as their mother. Their father plays a different role, most people will tell you they have different views of their parents.

My narrative as their mother is mine to create and I do my best to ensure that story is weaved of love, experiences and discipline.

She’s seven now and it is so easy to observe her starting to craft her own thoughts of me. She learned to ride her bike this Summer and frequently requests that I join her. We laugh and I tell her how great she’s doing and  I know these are memories that she will hold on to for a lifetime.

 

Athleta Girl

It’s safe to say I’ve reached that stage of motherhood and it’s bitter sweet.

She tells me how she wants to write a blog like me and do all of these creatively amazing things and I know she is watching. She no longer needs me to tie her shoe or teach her to ride a bike. She now needs me to reinforce her accomplishments and encourage her through her defeats. She wants to take walks with me and tell me about her day and help me in the kitchen.

She wants to dress like me, she’ll pick up something in the store and tell me how much it resembles a piece of clothing that I own. Mommy and me styles are so chic and add a little something to the mother/daughter dynamic. Athleta has created a chic line of women and Athleta girl clothing that is stylish and functional. With her dance schedule and my need to be comfortable in keeping up with her along with my need to hit the gym while she is in practice, these pieces fit perfectly our active lives. I’ve never known a pair of leggings to fit like these, I can’t speak for her but the fabric and fit hold everything together in the best way. We’re so excited to step out this fall in our matching gear.


Athleta Girl

HER: Leggings | Shirt | Jacket           ME: Leggings | Shirt | Jacket

When it comes to mothering her, I’ve come to realize the easy part was changing diapers and feeding. As I move into the most difficult part that includes building her into an incredible caring human, who is in touch with her emotions, strong, assertive and loving is the most important work. It’s daunting to think that certain aspects of her adulthood will be crafted from these years so I give them my all. I’m stern when needed but also apologize for days when I’m not my best. Seems like just when you think you have this mothering thing figured out, it keeps evolving.

Fight the good fight Mamas!! Cause as someone said

“To the world you are just one person, but to someone you are the world”

Living MOMing

girls night

The uncanny way women subconsciously add excuse maker to their list of duties is remarkable. I’m pretty sure it comes with the territory of donning the cape that is being a career woman and/or wife, mother, sister, friend, homemaker, cook, etc……………………………………………………………………………

We all know that one that will say she’ll be there with bells on and won’t….cause something or the other about kids and most frequently you will be notified at the last minute.

As a mother I totally get it. Most days I would really and truly like to stay in my home but as I strive to remind myself that before the whirlwind and blessings of life  labeled me a mother, wife and a plethora of  other grown up things I was a  person who spent years doing things that brought me joy and quite frankly I am still that girl that loves a good time, a good laugh until tears roll out of my eyes,  a ratchet beat, dressing up and a strong martini.

I owe it to myself to still find the time to do the things that once brought me joy all while making a home for my family. My family is indeed at the top of my priority list, however 2016 is the year that I attempt to bring in balance when it comes to spending time with my good friends.

The much needed balance that says my family can’t always be the reason why I can’t get out once in awhile to connect with my girlfriends. I have committed to spending at least one night out a month to catch up with my girls…in person.

Last night was our first night out. We went to the comedy club and because we are getting old we opted for the early show.

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We were in and out by 10 and when I was like are we really that old that we are heading home at 10? I got a resounding yes. *insert sad face emoji* Back to the burbs for me

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Spending time with people you love outside of your family is important in my eyes. I don’t care if you are gathered in a prayer circle, drinking tea, quilting, dancing till your feet hurt or having dinner in a quaint restaurant with your favorite girls, make it happen. If you have to plan weeks in advance, get permission from your husband or just get dressed and walk out the door the need  to connect with our friends is real and needed.

Yes, I know the whole I said yes but my bed is calling me just a few hours before call time struggle is real. Get up and GO!

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Your kids, your husband, your S.O., the dog, the dishes, the laundry…..all of that will be there when you get back and you’ll be better for it.

When was the last time you spent time with your girls?

Living MOMing

The Curated Reality of Glam Mothering

We all have seen those IG pages, perfectly curated memoirs of fab moms dressed to the nines with million dollar strollers, coiffed hair and perfect meals. Tens of thousands of followers stroll their timelines daily taking in these perfect images, some taking them for face value and others crying in their coffee at the mere fact that their IG page would be littered with poorly lit photos of their homes in disarray as they question, “how does *insert perfect IG feed name here* do it?

” I mean, she has a thousand kids and still manages to look put together and I have one and can’t seem to get my life, let alone head out to Target with a beat face.”

Sometimes I just want to disconnect from the internet, the very internet that has introduced me to so many amazing and powerful women. The internet that over the past 7 years has allowed me to subconsciously document my feelings and life for memories that years from now would have been a distant memory.

The curated reality of the internet will get you if you let it, especially when it comes to motherhood.

I follow sites for nothing more than inspiration and ideas, and can easily decipher reality from what you want me to see.  My concern is for those mothers who are struggling with just trying to get the basics together and  feel like they keep dropping the apples because as a mother they don’t look as put together, or their clothing isn’t as expensive, or their business isn’t thriving or their Starbucks would be photographed in front of the steering wheel of a non luxury vehicle.

If motherhood is a community, then I think it is time that real moments start out numbering the curated ones. We all love a pretty photo, but as an influencer I have started to ask myself what good am I putting out into this community for that mother trying to find her way. I fully understand every woman and mother has her own free will to think and perceive things as she pleases but the caring nature in me wants to see that mom know she is winning in her sweatpants and messed up brows. If only  a  suggestion for a quick meal or a Dollar Tree hack to keep her home together I don’t want to feel untouchable in this motherhood space.  I don’t want y’all to come look at me be pretty and tell me  how hard I slay, I want this online space on the internet to be a source of inspiration and connectable moments that we all experience in life in the realm of parenting, fashion, beauty, home and life.

I want to feel real. The thought that someone could look at my online personality and think that I’m perfect or have a perfect life makes me want to barf. Have you seen my Snapchat and the mess of my life that I document there?

I’ll admit. Some of us really do have things a little more together than others, and are genuinely happy but the reality is likely it hasn’t always been that way, and while we may be strong in one area, we are undoubtedly weak in others.

*talking to myself here*

Take what makes sense to you from this curated community of glam motherhood and don’t feel bad about your reality not being theirs or the one they want you to believe in.  We are all just works in progress.

Some a little more curated than others.

As you were.

 

Photo credit: It’s Really Kita