Every fall I take out the time to get real photos of my babies. Moving forward I would love to do them every season but the level of struggle they give me is so R E A L.
The tweenager doesn’t want to smile because the braces don’t look right, and the other thinks she is a diva in training. I wish I could say I enjoy capturing these photos of them as much as I love looking at them but I don’t.
Here are a few of their fall 2015 shots. They’ll love me for these later they say?
For the past 5 years I have likely spent more time than not perusing the interwebs connecting and engaging with other moms. These interactions have exposed me to a variety of different parenting methods, and have offered more than a fair share of “Dear lady at Target that didn’t side eye me when my child threw a tantrum and broke a Lilly Pulitzer for Target vase.” You know of these articles of which I speak where we are all asked to have compassion for that mom struggling with her child because as an outsider looking in we don’t know that her child my have developmental or behavioral issues. I have read these articles and appropriately not side eyed that mom in the store and have at times offered my assistance if I see someone having a really hard time.
Compassion is a real thing and we all need to have it and display it when necessary.
That being said, if we are encouraging one another as moms to be more compassionate and less judgmental in our dealings with one another, let’s be mindful of how we let our children and their freedoms infringe on others.
Case in point.
In my daughter’s ballet class there is a student that is just….let’s say out of control. She is a constant disruption to the class, yells out and refuses to do what the teacher asks. The teacher reasonably tries to accommodate and encourage the child but depending on the day and how the wind is blowing she may or may not chose to participate. Here’s the thing, as a parent while I may exercise my right not to discipline my child, I would have to step in when I felt that my child’s issues were starting to impact and take time away from other students whose parent’s spend their hard earned money for uninterrupted lessons.
This is where I draw the line. While I can be compassionate and think about all of the reasons why a child may have a behavioral issue, please be mindful of the money I spend monthly to have my child participate in an activity. As a mother I don’t think I could sit back and watch my child no matter what his/her issue may be completely take time away from other paying customers without stepping in and disciplining when needed or maybe finding my child a private lesson if necessary.
The way my level of compassion is set up currently, if your child rams into my cart in Target while running full speed down a Target aisle as if it is a drag way (this happened), before issuing a side eye I kindly think your child has some behavioral issues and you deserve to be in Target like the rest of us because simply there would be no way that you would let that happen unless there were factors driving such behaviors that you have no control over. However, if you are continuously letting your child be a disruption in a setting outside of a public classroom, I’m handing out side eyes like candy on Halloween.
Seriously, I implore us all to really consider how our parenting methods affect those around us. My child won’t ram into your cart in Target without issuing an apology, and I expect the same respect…but I get it. If you are one of those that feel the need to let your child run free and disrupt others void of an apology I would hope you would expect to receive a side eye and not feel any kind of way.
This has been a NaBloPoMo rambling. Since I’m blogging everyday and this scenario has had me a little perturbed all day this has been my vent for the day. Thanks for listening?
Am I wrong? Am I still lacking in the compassion department? What would you do?
You do know if we are not careful, we would have let our children waste their childhoods away staring at screens and not the kind that your grandmama told you not to slam on your way out.
I hear so many of us parents complaining about how our children don’t know childhood as we did, yet we continue to let them waste their time away on electronic devices instead of pushing and encouraging them to go outdoors or explore other creative outlets of play.
*insert black lady emoji with raised hand*
Living in a relatively “safe” neighborhood I do not trust my children to play outside unsupervised for a number of reasons. Primarily the fact that distracted drivers treat the main street through the neighborhood as if it is some kind of drag race thoroughfare, and to think the community thought it better to resurface the tennis courts than to install speed bumps. Add on the fact that we live in a society with predators, and you get the answer to the equation of me not feeling comfortable with just the two of them playing together outside. This puts the pressure on my husband and I to spend time with them outdoors.
I’ve instituted a one charge a week electronic device boot camp where I only charge their devices once a week encouraging them to use their time wisely. One of the activities that I institute when they’ve either used up their charge, or I am trying to save them from the dreaded dead battery prior to the next week’s charge is taking them outside for evening walks.
I find them actually talking to one another, laughing and joking and doing what brothers and sisters do. As the evenings have started to get cooler they are having a great time pointing out fall decorations on neighborhood porches and rushing to find premature fall hued leaves that have fallen to the ground.
I will say I have been enjoying these walks. It’s a time to wind down from the day, enjoy the fall breeze and take in the calm of nature before it gets too cold and then we have to figure something else out, cause there will be no evening walks in the cold.
Have you found effective ways to lessen screen time? Do you allow your children to play outdoors unsupervised?
Having two children in elementary school is a lot more stressful than I anticipated. Keeping track of what electives happen on which day, what projects are due, and when tests will be taken can be quite overwhelming with more than one child.
I took some time shortly after school started to get some things organized and systems in place to keep track of all of their activities. This past week I’ve started to feel overwhelmed again as I get myself back together after being sick. While I was sick the Mr. managed to hold things together like food, baths, and laundry and threw all kinds of shade to the wind about my school work organization plan . All of their papers are in a pile on the kitchen table and I feel so unorganized thinking a child has missed something or wasn’t properly prepared for a test. As I try to get order back in here with their schoolwork I thought I would share a few tips with those of you like me who might be switching up the day the light bill is due with the date of the spelling test.
Setup a Separate Email Address: I appreciate teachers who communicate well with parents. My son has two teachers and my daughter has one and on average, in a week from all three teachers I get about 10-15 emails. To ensure I don’t miss any important information amongst my Gap, and Michael’s coupons I decided to setup a separate email address where only teacher and school related correspondence comes. It has made a huge difference in keeping things and dates organized.
Color Code Each Child: My planner seems to have something written in every square. To give myself a glimpse at which child has something due on a given day I color code their activities. My daughter is pink and my son is blue. All activities pertaining to that child are written in that color and while it may seem silly it helps tremendously with planning.
Write Important Dates Down Immediately: When I go through each child’s paperwork from the day, I have my planner and pink and blue pen by my side. From conference letters to Scholastic ordering days I write those things down right then. I don’t depend on my brain to remember because that makes me crazy. I mean you are already sitting down sifting through pages of work and permission slips. It’s so simple to just transfer the information to your planner right then.
Decide What to Throw Away and What to Keep: This has been one of my biggest struggles. Who doesn’t want to look back and see budding handwriting skills on hundreds of pieces of worksheets sent home daily? I personally know how hard it is to throw away every piece of paper that your child completes in grade school, however keeping unnecessary papers makes it hard to organize and keep up with the important papers. Set up an area where you keep important papers like calendars and lunch menus so you have them within reach. I only keep artwork, and a few handwritten worksheets for nostalgia sake. I would recommend keeping the exceptionally great pieces and toss the others, when the babies aren’t looking of course.
Keep Your Child in the Loop: When the most expensive of planners fail and your phone alarm didn’t go off, never under estimate the power of a child to repeat to you verbatim what the teacher told them about turning in those boosterthon pledges and school picture payments on time.
To keep things running smoothly during the school year, create these lists weekly, and use these tips to stay organized throughout the school year.
