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Parenting

Lil Man Parenting

The Hypocritical Football Mom

Parenting is just down right difficult at times. Second guessing yourself wondering if the decisions you make will hinder them or  will they feel some kind of way about you when they grow up. The whole process feels like a shot in the dark at times.

Last year my husband and I made the decision to not force my son to play football when he brought it to our attention that he didn’t want to play. I even wrote a post about the whole dilemma that got featured on BlogHer and I was heralded for being a great mother for standing by my son’s decision. At the time we wanted to allow him the space to voice his desires knowing that we would stand behind and support him.

Football Mom

Tia and Tamera Mowry
Life Mompreneur Parenting Sanity

The Do it All/Have it All Mom Struggle

*Today’s post is sponsored by The Style Network*

If I had a penny, or even half of a penny for every post that I’ve encountered on the blogosphere talking about how Moms and women in general feel about juggling everything from families and careers to being a SAHM and finding time for oneself I would be a rich lady. Very rich.

We see the balancing act daily in our real lives and even on television. Tia and Tamera on The Style Network epitomizes the struggle of trying to be a Mom while juggling career and entrepreneurship dreams. Tia and Tamera are back for season 3 on The Style Network and from the looks of it they are all about finding balance. Take a peek at a clip for the upcoming season! The new season debuts on Sunday, July 14 at 8/7C on Style.

Tia and Tamera Mowry

If you could stand to win $2000 swing by Tia and Tamera’s Style Network Page for information on how to enter their Instagram “Who Is Your &(And)?” contest which requires you to take a photo with your favorite person and tag Tia and Tamera on Instagram. Click the link for detailed instructions. Also be sure to follow The Style Network on Instagram.

When it comes to finding balance my opinion of having it all is quite different and I suppose it is attributed to the fact that I’ve worked, and wanted this amazing career and hit the glass ceiling very early on. Hit my head so hard forget climbing back down the ladder I just fell from the top rung and was left splatted  and laid out cold on the floor. I woke up dazed and confused wondering why I was at the bottom when it took so long to get to the top and I had sacrificed time with my family and most importantly my happiness.

When I finally peeled myself off of the linoleum I got up with the help of some smelling salts and went soul searching and I found that indeed while there are things that I want, there are external factors that I can’t control. When I realized I could only control my reactions to those factors I became a very happy person. I choose to see the good in everything and everybody until I am proven wrong. I set goals and I plan out the road maps to get to them  as reasonably as I can.

See I think people struggle with this because they are trying to go against the grain of what is natural. What is natural is different for everybody but for ME I’ve learned the needs of my family trump everything and I live my life accordingly. I’m not always the best mother and wife but at this point in my life having it all is making sure they are happy, and second comes growing a successful career working from home. My priorities are as such and in that order. When I feel stressed I go back to what’s most important and I work everything else around that.

Finding balance hasn’t been easy and from day to day I feel like I’m dangling over the Grand Canyon by my puny arms but I start over fresh daily. Looking at what I did right and what I did wrong and moving forward. I demand certain things when it comes to making time for myself and I will act a fool if folks don’t cooperate so they know first hand about happy Mommy/Wife makes for a happy life.

If I had to offer any suggestions on “finding balance” I would say from experience:

  • Make self care a priority, make time for yourself.
  • If you don’t feel like doing it. Don’t do it. If folks won’t starve, be dirty, or hurt themselves it can wait.
  • Give it your best, that is all you can do.
  • Don’t let other people’s goals drive you.

Are you a fan of Tia and Tamera? How do you find balance? Or are you all like what balance?!

Children Life Parenting

Child Support in Summer?

I pride myself on keeping it real around here. Sprinkled in with a few sponsored posts here and there, I think you can always count on me being truthful and open ’round these parts  I would like to think we are community of virtual friends although some of you I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting through comments but I still consider you my virtual family.

I said all of that to say don’t come for me too hard on this post cause we’re friends. I just need some clarification and I know I will get the gamut of unbiased opinion by posting this issue here.

Child Support in the Summer. I’m confused…and let me clarify I’m talking about the support that is never late, benefits carried etc…

Child Support

Parenting

Don’t Let Your Mouth Write a Check….

My son. My son.

So here lately my son has been mouthing off something awful. I know some of you are like well what’s the problem…Handle that.

As a child coming up I had an issue with my mother yelling and spanking me, and while I would like to think I turned out a’ight…We I have decided that I am going to take a different approach with parenting my children. This week I vowed to yell less and listen more because he said he feels like I don’t listen. Which I do listen by the way, its just that his reasoning makes no sense. Yet I often get a good internal chuckle at some of the pontifications that he uses to rationalize his behavior.

So back to the issue at hand.

The word “bad” gets thrown around recklessly when it comes to talking about children. I’m sure we all have our own definition of bad and indeed some children are just that but my son is not…at least by my definition of the word. He is not the boy that I have to speak to about jumping off of my couch or throwing rocks at the neighbors house, his issue lies in not knowing when to Shut.His.Mouth.

His defiance comes on an intellectual level and that makes it that much more difficult to parent and discipline through because those skills will be put to good use when he figures out how to properly channel them. My concern is that I don’t want to put that flame out that questions everything, and can quickly argue a point. Hell at this point in his life he would make an awesome 7 year old attorney. Just imagine his potential with some proper schooling.

Parenting

I digress.

Need an example? Good.

I can say to him son, I don’t want you eating in the living room. Now if I’m not mistaken that is a declarative statement. As in I, the mama have told you to do something and I expect it to be done.

Evidently he is processing it as: I heard what she said, yet it is something I am not interested in doing. Instead of doing what she said, I am going to give a plethora of reasons why this makes no sense in my world and why she needs to see things my way.

See. I’m not here for the back and forth. He will argue me down about why he did what he did and why it was okay when quite simply I told him to do something. Or he will question MY declaration, and like I told him the other day, I am the mother, I make the rules. PERIOD….then he asks why and I just have to walk away.

I know some you are still all with the *blank stare* like spank him and keep it moving. I am not ashamed to say I have tried that, we have taken things away and he’s still doing it. So at this point I choose not to spank. I’m just going to beat him at his own mind game. Lately instead of getting upset that he is asking the questions, I take out the time to answer them. I tell him why his father and I make the rules. I include examples to what could happen if he doesn’t listen to them in an effort to show cause and effect hoping that he will better process the information and start to think in a consequential manner.

Parenting sure is difficult. At this point I would take the sleepless nights over mind wrestling but it comes with parenting and we are now entering a new stage. One that is new and fresh but what I do know is I don’t want to use the old ways. I’m more concerned with him knowing why instead of just doing. A lot of us have gotten ourselves in trouble by not asking questions and just doing. It’s all relevant. It really is.

Are you parenting your children how you were parented, even if as an adult you feel some kind of way about your upbringing?