I’m a realist
…depending on the day. The gears that churn in my head are always moving. ALWAYS. So last week when I found myself stressed out I really took some time to see what I can do to prevent myself from going off on on these tangents from time to time. I eventually came to the conclusion that feeling overwhelmed is a natural part of life and these emotions come. The integral part in getting through these times is knowing that they are temporary and refusing to wallow in the depths of despair for day/months/years at a time. I give myself a max of 5 days and then I have to get up and do something. Too much to be thankful for.
While in my feelings, I came to the epiphany that alot of my anxiety comes from not wanting to be like my mother. Yes, that’s what I said. I love my mother, she was a wonderful mother and set many examples..some to be followed others not so much.
As parents we make decisions and teach our children based on our life experiences. We teach them what we know. As they grow into adulthood it is up to them to learn what in those lessons works and what doesn’t.
My mother had a hard time letting go of the past, and was known for starting and not finishing things. She left this earth with many of her dreams written in journals that I recently spent time reading. Nothing was exceptionally difficult, but she couldn’t let go of hiccups in her past and as a result she was never able to move forward.
It hit me. Sometimes the best things we learn from our parents is not to be like them, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am terrified that I will leave here like my mother did, never completing any of my dreams. I know this sounds crazy but it’s so true. As I watched my mother hold on to so many trivial things from her past I learned early on that I never wanted to be like that. I never wanted people to have that sort of control over me. While they’re sleeping on 198,523,936 thread count sheets, drooling and snoring I’m seething mad. NEVER.
My children need to know that they can do anything they set their minds to. The pressure is on my husband and I to not only tell them this but to set a tangible example. They need to know all people won’t hurt them, and if someone does they must move on and categorize that person as such and not limit themselves by thinking everyone else is the same. I’m just thankful I havebeen able to conjure up the strength to move beyond what I was shown as a child and make my own way. I’m sure there will be many things that we will do wrong as parents but I pray that the children are able to see and rectify those things in their adult lives.
What did your parent(s) teach you that you vow to not pass on to your children? Are you there yet? Hard isn’t it.