Addison and I have a fairly easy morning routine. She’s in the bed early each night so she often wakes herself before I come in her room. Once out of the bed she calmly puts on the outfit that I’ve chosen and we handle a few of the necessities, you know brush teeth, comb hair etc.
Well, one day last week she decided to flip the script on me. I put her dress on and instructed her to get her white tennis shoes that she wears to school EVERY DAY.
Not that day.
She was not in the mood to entertain my clothing decisions and apparently overnight gave her self permission to override my shoe picking authority. With a close eye on the clock I went around and around with her on why her beloved Converse had no business being worn with the purple dress I picked out.
She kept saying my dress is blue and my shoes are blue.
Uh no…your dress is purple and those shoes are turquoise and coral…but whatever
Then my adult mind goes into the parental place that minds go and starts to question whether she is color blind or not, never giving thought to the idea that she was just pleading her case to wear the shoes that she wanted to wear and not what I wanted her to wear.
Five minutes into the struggle I gave in, snapped a photo to Instagram and Facebook and we were on our way.
Chiiiiiiilllllllleeeeee, let me tell you. I was properly checked on both Instagram and Facebook that morning. The majority of the comments all stated something to the extent that I should let her be and that she is just developing her own style and instead of discouraging it I should nurture it.
All day the whole purple dress and green shoe business was on my mind heavy. I started thinking about a quote that I read that parents are the top killers of their children’s creativity and if they make it to 4th grade with it intact it’s a miracle.
Oh, but I don’t want to put out my children’s creativity. I started to fall down that rabbit hole that is feelings of being a bad parent and realizing how really and truly hard and complex parenting is.
I mean I journeyed back in time Delorean style to when I told my mother as a Senior in high school that I wanted to go to fashion school and she told me that was no way to make a living and that if I was to be on her dime there was a spot waiting for me at FAMU.
Proud Rattler here.
That day it was merely a dress and shoes but what about those times when I said my son shouldn’t make that loom bracelet with certain colors because they didn’t match. Or that time I refused to buy him a sleeveless shirt because I don’t like them.
If you care I eventually broke down and bought him one .
I said all of this to say, moving forward I am going to be a lot more open and mindful of the things I say to my children when it becomes a struggle between what I want and what they want….within reason of course. I mean I am the Mama after all. However, when it comes to nurturing certain creative aspects of their being, I think I may fall back a little and see where they go.
So if you see me in the street and Addison has on one pink rain boot and one of those Converse. I lost that day.
Parenting is hard.
Am I doing the most on this of many epiphanies I have on my parenting style? Do you let your children wear what they want? Is it your way or the highway when it comes to things of this nature?