Swerve


It happens to the best of us.

We hear or see spectacular things happening in the lives of others and before we know it we’ve swerved out of our lane, craning our necks to see what’s going on in theirs.

I keep it real here, so its nothing but pure honesty that I come here and say that I have been swerving a bit more for my liking these past few weeks. Questioning why things are happening for some people and not for me, envisioning myself in someone else’s shoes. I hate to call it envy but sometimes you literally have to tell the truth and shame the devil. *slaps the table and in my Iyanla voice yells, “Call a thing a thing.”*

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See, the thing is as emotional humans it is virtually impossible to at times not envision yourself in someone else’s shoes, or find yourself possibly trying to alter your path to hopefully get the same end result as another person. We may deep down inside know and believe that God has a specific plan detailed with our name on it but in that minute when you got that call and that person needed you to be happy for them and you instead had to swallow that gulp in your throat and wonder why not me……Don’t act. You know what I’m talking about.

The beauty of living is that we can wallow in those feeling for a short time before coming back to our senses and allow ourselves to reflect on past life lessons that have taught us that everything that glitters “ain’t” gold and that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Getting to this place takes dedication and a desire to live YOUR best life.

Just like when driving a car, when we get distracted from the task at hand which is driving to our destination we can easily find ourselves drifting off into someone else’s space. It is that quick reflex that causes us to react on the road that we also need to implement in our lives. The sad thing is some people don’t know to go back in their lane they just “Debo” their way into a space that was not meant for them. Not sure what “Debo” means, reference the movie Friday. Still not familiar? Maybe check the urban dictionary?

I’m back in my lane now, I was even polite and turned on my blinker cause forget swervin’, I was all in their lane!!

The truth shall set you free. Are you guilty of swerving?

About the author
Mom, wife and friend. I moonlight as a cooker, baker, laundry folder and organizer. I like to think I do it in style. Unlikely Martha is my contribution to the internet in helping women "Keep House and Stay Fly!"

31 Comments

  1. Am I guilty of swerving? Hell..yeah. I won’t event lie. (and I thank you for being so transparent). 2011 was a really hard year for me professionally and in my personal life because I knew what I wanted, and I thought I was working hard and “staying positive” about the things that I wanted. But things didn’t look the way I thought they would look or feel and I didn’t see things happening as fast for me as they were happening for other people (or so I thought). I would sit back and watch people flourish and just wonder WHY I felt so invisible. But just like you said, we always come back to our senses, especially when we learn that people really do show us mostly the highlights of their life-especially on the net. So ohhhh..yeah I’m guilty.
    bessieakuba recently posted..Random Ramblings: Clients That Turn Into Friends

  2. Every path is different and we must remember we don’t really know the path others took to get where they are today. Some people steal to get where they are, some people meet the right person to take them to a whole new level, some people work hard, some people are just plain born into luck. However we get there it’s our path and we should stay in our lane everyone swerves but it takes a loud “horn blasting” to get back in the right lane.

  3. Amen Mimi! Kita hit it on the head for me. That swerve is next to impossible. There are times when it’s hard to remind myself that what’s for me is for me and only me. If I’m all up in someone else’s business I will only cheat myself out of the blessings coming my way. If you stay in someone else’s lane too long, you’ll miss your exit completely!

  4. So you just gonna swerve all in my business huh?! Yea I’m guilty I even got a post I keep deleting telling on myself but coming to terms with what is for u is for u is easy to say and not always easy to remember when we get caught up in our emotions and what about me’s. Thanks for this!
    Candace (NYStateofMoM) recently posted..Weekend Wrap-Close to Home

    1. It is amazing how powerful our mind is. One day we can be so optimistic about our future and have an action plan in place. Then the pity party sets in and we can’t even remember an iota of the plan that we set out. That is why I write everything down so when I get down I can just take a glance and remind myself that my future is bright, no matter how long it will take me to get there

  5. This is a great analogy! I’m guilty of swerving sometimes (especially when it comes to blogging). But my mama always used to say, “No matter how bad you think you have it, someone always has it worse.” I parlay that thought into remembering that someone, somewhere would kill to have the life I have, so I need to be grateful for where I am! This keeps me from succumbing to the green eyed devil.
    Amber recently posted..The Reward of Motherhood

  6. 1. I think this was going to be about Big Sean. Don’t judge.

    2. I have been looking for excuses to slap the table and yell, “Call a thing, a THING!”

    3. I heart everything about this post. The wording, the title, everything. So guilty of this. I stay at my pity party for a while and then I remember that God doesn’t just bless one person and be done. He doesn’t half hear my prayers. If he answered one part, the other is surely coming. A gratitude list helps because at one time those were things that I was praying for that have come to pass.

    Loved this post!!
    Channing recently posted..MeOnTv13

    1. Big Sean is totally where I got the title from. Please judge!

      That pity party stays with one guest. I have exited plenty of other peoples. What God has done for one he will do for another in His own time. Gratitude lists are exceptional. Cause we may be complaining we don’t have a Benz when we can look and be thankful for the Chrysler we upgraded to!

  7. I know I’ve swerved before and will probably do it again. However, I have to remind myself my blessings and how much I’ve been blessed in my life. You never know the circumstances of how a person has come into their blessing. We often only see the end result. Many times if we really knew what a person had to go through, we would think twice before swerving.
    Great post Mimi.
    Jenni recently posted..So Random

  8. Love that swerving…I try not to just not worth it…everyone has their baggage and to be honest I know my baggage better! My hubby always rolls his eyes when I try to compare..he doesnt get it!!

  9. I know exactly what you mean. I think it’s not so much that I don’t feel happy for others, but I do fall into the what am I doing wrong syndrome. I tend to turn things on myself and forget that my life does not equal someone else’s. It can be a seriously endless trap, but thank God with a little effort we can remember who we are. I am so glad that the Lord reminds me who he created me to be. I can’t and don’t need to walk another person’s path. I just need to stay on the one he created for me.
    Brandyne recently posted..Bitter and Sweet

  10. Girl, u know what…I LOVE UR BLOG! U really hit it this time. I love all the fashion, domestics & beauty stuff…we are alike in that manner. But sometimes we just have to bring ourselfs back to reality! BAM! Mimi, u said a mouthful in this piece. I think we are all guilty at last ONCE in our lifetime! We are only human. But let’s not make that an excuse. Let’s face the truth & do better to better ourselves.

    1. Exactly! Instead of being envious I know have the attitude if they can do it so can I if that is my path. Often I see a trail of hardwork behind them and them I am reminded that they didn’t get to that point over night. It took time and sacrifice.

  11. I am right there with you! and I love that quote about comparison is the thief of joy. It is so easy to be constantly wanting to be in some other place than we are, but God has us right where we are for a reason and I want to work to make the most of it!

  12. Thank you so much Mimi for this post. I have pity parties often and have to check myself. With me being a SAHM it seems like it’s harder for me to figure out what’s my purpose. I do tend to swerve in other people’s lanes and try to figure out their life, how, when, and why. Quiet time and a lot of prayer keeps me focus on what’s right in front of me and the path I need to stay on. I have one of the greatest jobs ever but sometimes it can get depressing.

    1. I went through these same issues when I first started being a SAHM. It gets lonely especially when people around you are out and about and being “productive.” Yes, prayer and devotion time definitely works to keep us grounded and patient while we wait on our purpose. I’m still searching for mine but I figure I will never find it if I continue to sit still. I just do things with the thought that it may be that thing or the next person I meet may have the ability to push me to the next level. I think we always have to live with the spirit of expectation. That keeps things moving when we feel like sitting down!

  13. We all swerve from time to time. I know that I swerve from time to time but I’m thankful that I snap out of it and go back to my lane. It’s hard sometimes being patient for your blessing to come when it seems to be raining blessings on everyone else around you.

  14. Guilty as charged. And I thank you for being honest enough to even blog about such a topic. I think my “swerving” has accelerated as I inch closer to 30 (just 3 weeks away now!). I have friends and associates who are doing BIG things – starting businesses and making major moves in Corporate America. I’ve asked myself a million times, why are they so successful? What are they doing that I’m not? Why do I have to stuck at this 9-5 that I can’t stand. Don’t get me wrong – I’m so blessed to have a job – but it’s time to make a transition into a career that I love. I’ve learned that I can’t sit back and watch others make things happen. I have to make my own success. So I am.
    Tiffany recently posted..Rocking the Vote… Together

    1. You know, finding a career that you are happy with is such a journey. I know people who climbed the ladder and I was so envious when that was my goal and now they are miserable. We truly have to find our lane and stay the course. Cause lawd knows the outcome we think we will get will be the very one that will make us miserable. The hard part is finding that THING!!

  15. Oh honey, we’re all guilty of swerving in some form or fashion. At one point in my life I found myself not being as happy for others as I should have been, and that made me sad. So I prayed on it, and it’s 100% better. God’s work is so powerful.

    So these days I’m pretty good at staying in my lane. My lane comes with speedbumps, but hey, it’s mine! 🙂 I’m just happy to be here.

    Awesome post, Mimi.
    G K recently posted..A Day at the Pumpkin Patch

  16. Yessss I’m very guilty and it’s so easy to get caught up in the hype of others. While for me I’m happy for others and not hating on their progress, but I do feel like I often get the short end of the stick. I try not to swerve to much and not compare myself of others, but I’m sure we are all guilty of this in some shape or form. Thanks so much for sharing what I’m sure many of us have thought at some point.
    Tyesha recently posted..Splurge vs. Steal: {3-Layer Fringe Boots}

  17. *shouts and falls out* unfortunately I’ve swerved so much this year I’m not even on a path. I may as well be on a go-cart driving on a dirt road…. It’s hard to not be guilty of this and I’m definitely praying to get back on track…….
    Legally Chocolat recently posted..Change of Venue

    1. Did you ever get your new blog up? If so can you please email me the link!!

      Go cart on a dirt road..Doesn’t it feel like that sometimes!

  18. *doing the praise dance*
    Girl, you hit the nail on the head. I’ve been suffering from an acute case of envy around here. From other bloggers to other nurses and friends. It’s in my nature to be happy for someone when they have good news, but I’ve found that lately I’ve been in the why not me club. I have to remind myself that’s what’s for me is for me. I love that quote! I’m going to write it down and say it to myself whenever I start swerving!!!

  19. Mimi you are always right on time with some of your post. I really needed this, This past month or so– I have been all in other people’s lane. Comparing, complaining and being crazy nosey. I think it’s human nature to look at other people’s life and see how wonderful YOU THINK they got it and then automatically think that yours is going all wrong. I do it all the time!
    What I have done here recently is make little sticky notes to remind myself to stay in the moment, think about how to make MY family better and continue to stay focus on the bigger picture and then stick them all of my bathroom mirror { My husband thinks that I’ve been watching too much OWN, but it’s working}!
    prototype mama recently posted..Mrs. Heather’s Pumpkin Patch

  20. Yes – I have swerved before, and I’m pretty sure I’ll swerve again. But you know what – every time I swerve and I mean every time – something happens to let me know that my life, such as it is, is exactly what it’s supposed to be at this particular moment in time. God always, always knows what’s best for me, even when I can’t see it. When I stay focused, I can’t lose. When I lose focus and swerve, He’s always there bringing me back to those glorious things He has for me. Here’s hoping I remember this the next time I swerve even just a little.

  21. I think everyone has swerved every now and then. I know I have.. more than I even want to admit. But, I can say that I have gotten better at maintaining control of MY steering wheel. I ain’t trying to side swipe anyone!

    I really like how you put that, “Live Your Best Life.” I need to put this on a shirt.
    Carla recently posted..It’s OK.

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