Unlikely Martha
My Babies

Ain’t Misbehavin

Soooo…let me start by saying, prior to my son starting school, I gave myself a mind pep talk that I would never be the type to say, “not my child” before knowing the situation. Go figure last week I had to eat my words a couple of times..oh well we live and learn!

Four out of the five days last week my son either came home with a straight or frowny face on his daily progress report with a description such as, “someone hit him and he started to cry, please speak with him about crying” (ummm last time I checked that’s what children do), ” he hit another student” (okay, we don’t play that), “he was frustrated about not getting something to work, put it down and moved to another area” (huh?). By day four I’m livid and totally over these reports. The class has had 3 different teachers in the past month and you want me to talk to my child about crying, when no one has been in the class long enough to know all of the children’s names ( I’m heated as I’m typing as if you can’t tell).

Day four, teacher aide suggests I come in to speak with her regarding his behavior. What’s really going on? Last year he probably got a total of 4 yellow lights for the entire year and here I am looking at four issues in one week…I’m all ears. Friday, as I pull through the car pool line I am greeted by yet another new teacher. We exchange pleasantries, and I ask about his behavior. She replies, ” He is one of our star students” (that’s my boy!), I respond really? I was just about to park and come in to speak with you regarding his behavior from last week. Based on his progress reports Mrs.(name ommitted to protect the tattle tale) suggested I do so. Teacher responds, oh no, there is no need for that. Well he did hit a student last last week but she was bothering him for quite some time before he retaliated (so let me get this straight, you see what’s going on but you don’t diffuse the situation). Then it happened I locked eyes with the teacher aide, they say eyes are the window to the soul and I’ll leave it at that..okay, one more word..piercing!
Why aren’t these people on the same page? My child got reprimanded for behaviors that his real teacher (at least for this week) didn’t seem to think was a big deal. I am prayerful that I am able to edit my thoughts before I open my mouth at the meet and greet this evening when I ask about the protocol utilized in discerning who gets a happy face and who doesn’t and why they can’t get and keep a teacher in his classroom. Stability is important for students, so maybe the problem is them and not the children.
Look at that sweet face…He couldn’t, or could he?!!!
Am I overreacting?  When your child receives a bad report, do you listen to their side of the story, or do you automatically take the teacher’s word? 

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  • Reply
    September 7, 2010 at 12:14 am

    I do everything I can to understand the situation. If there is any way possible, I take my child's side. I don't become adversarial, but the teacher has lots of people to defend her and I'm the only one who can stand up for my child.

    Bad behavior from my child is not tolerated and will be dealt with. But a teacher blaming my child for something that is their problem or that my child is innocent of is not tolerated either.

    I want my child to grow up knowing that I will fight for them whenever I can. I would rather do that and be wrong than to not do it when I should and have them doubt their worth to me.

    I would totally be ticked off about what happened. Your child needs all the positives he can receive at this age or it could sour his feelings about school and teachers forever. Plus he needs to feel good about his ability to succeed. I think the frowny faces are awful. Too much feedback of every second is just that. Too much.

    They should watch his behavior and address any severe issues. Smaller issues should be addressed in the classroom. And a report every day is ridiculous. So if my child is having a tough day emotionally he gets sent home with a frowny face? Yeah, like that's going to help.

    Sorry for the long post. Your story got me a little worked up, too. Guess I'm on your side.

  • Reply
    Mrs Gloves
    September 7, 2010 at 5:00 am

    You have to be your child's advocate these days. I would listen to his side and if you weren't satisfied talk to the teacher. Better to have the whole story then half!

    …stopping by from SITS…

    Steph @ A Grande Life (agrandelife.com)

  • Reply
    Lisa Fergus
    September 7, 2010 at 7:27 am

    My little man is not in school yet, so I have no idea! You handled the situation beautifully though.
    I think the teachers need to get on the same page!
    And your boy is so handsome and sweet looking….no way he was causing problems!!! 😉


  • Reply
    September 7, 2010 at 9:18 am

    It sounds like you handled the situation well. I don't think you're over reacting at all. If anything, I would have been voiced opinion over the number of teacher changes and the fact that the current teachers seem to let certain students bully others. Going through multiple teachers in such a short time provides an unstable environment for kids and as moms we know that kids need a routine and stability.

    I would just make an effort to pop up every week and observe what's going on. It seems like this school is having a little bit of difficulty getting their act together. You may have to ask to have your son transferred to class with a stable teacher.

  • Reply
    Help! Mama Remote...
    September 7, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    You have to listen to your child's side of the story too. We are also building relationships with our kids & if they don't feel comfortable talking to us….we're going to have some more problems. If they had multiple teachers in the short period of time..some other things are going on here. School has just started & that many complaints would tick me off too.

    I had this problem with both of my oldest. What I would do is go visit & sit in the classroom. When I did that, the teachers would stop complaining. It'll work out. Follow your mom instincts.

  • Reply
    Putting All the Ps in one POD!
    September 7, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    You did an excellent job with that situation.. I am a teacher but I am also a Mother. I listen to both sides because I do know how children can somehow stretch the truth but sometimes teachers have a way of stretching the truth themselves..A job well done!

  • Reply
    September 7, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    Two weeks ago, my daughter receive a "frown" face because she pushed a little boy in the line. I asked my daughter what happened and she wouldn't answer. He not answering me made me upset and I spanked her on her hands. I felt terrible about it because I realized who the child was and that I've witnessed with my own eyes how much of a crybaby and disobedient little boy he is.

    I talked to my daughter's teacher's aide the next morning and I felt even worse. She stated that it wasn't even worth her getting a sad/frown face because all of the kids were pushing and the little boy was trying to skip my daughter. I was also told that my daughter's teacher is a blows things out of proportion a lot and that I shouldn't make a big deal out of things. You can guess by now that at this point, I felt horrible!

    Needless to say, I made it up to her and I do plan on making a visit to her classroom to observe as we're allowed to. Ask your son's teacher if you can do that same so you can see what's going on for yourself.

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