My husband is convinced that at times I am just way too nice, and people take that as a form of weakness. While I will admit I have a propensity to accept tasks that I would rather not do, I do them in the name of helping others. If someone asks me to do something, I figure they need my help and while I have the option of saying no, I just like to think about if I was in the same situation would I want someone to help me.
I could care less if people are “taking advantage of me” knowingly or unknowingly. I think the good in my life shows that I have been rewarded for being genuine in my intentions to help others. I don’t have the time to count what I have done in relation to what others have done for me. You do go good, you get good. Karma anyone?
Source: fridgedoor.com via Louisa on Pinterest
Mr. is still hung up on the idea that I need to know when to shut it down, not answer my phone or just blatantly say no. I am slowly getting there. Not out of the fact that I feel like people are taking advantage of me but merely because as I begin the process of building my brand and continuing to grow the blog, taking care of my family, thrifting, grocery shopping, doing homework, being told no constantly by a near 2 year old, cooking, washing and folding laundry and a whole plethora of other things…I just don’t have the time.
..yet he made me think. Is kindness really a form of weakness. I don’t think so, but he is adament that it is. What do you say?
#teamMimi or #teamAdrian?
17 Comments
Prototype Mama
February 16, 2012 at 8:42 amI was once a “yes” girl for many years– while working in corporate America I found that I was being over worked and used to wear many hats because I never said no to anyone. It caused me to work long hours and I became very stressed/tired while still having to take care of three young children at the time ( plus go to school part time) it wasn’t till I had no choice but to slow down that I realized that it was ok to say “no” sometimes. It’s good to have a healthy balance—-I think you know in your heart if someone is asking for help because they really need it or they are just use to someone always helping 🙂
Mrs. Pancakes
February 16, 2012 at 9:29 amAs long as you are not being taken advantage of I think kindness is not a form of weakness! It can be if all you do is give and give and no one takes note of it or doesn’t acknowledge it! Be yourself!
Aracely
February 16, 2012 at 9:47 amI think kindness can be a form of weakness if you allow to be. The first post mentioned having a balance and I’m all about having balance. You can certainly help out others but not to the point where you’re over exerting yourself!
Amanda_Nicole
February 16, 2012 at 10:25 amThis is too familiar.. Hmmmm. Yes kindness is a form of weakness as along as you don’t allow it. But you can always tell when someone is taking advantage of you. Your intentions are great. And I also believe ”you do good, you get good”. Take sometime off from all the that open invention into someone else space. You have alot going on. You’ll be fine. #teamMimi 🙂
Optimistic Mom
February 16, 2012 at 11:37 amI don’t hesitate to say no, but I’ve been like that for years. Don’t get me wrong, I do what I can when I can (and want to do so). I value my time and how I spend it, so I don’t feel bad for saying no. And since I have always been like that people don’t have a problem with it. I love helping people but I love my family and doing things I enjoy even more.
Okay back to your question, kindness can be deemed as weakness by a person who is taking advantage of you. But as the preacher at church once said, God knows your heart when you are helping someone and that is what matters. You can’t worry about what a person does with your kind acts, they will be judged for what they do.
And definitely be open to what your hubs is saying, he loves you and wants you to be happy. 😉
Quiana
February 16, 2012 at 11:56 amMy husband’s definitely the nicer of the 2 of us but I’m getting so good at saying no now in 2012. It’s kinda contagious actually! I’m trying to live my life as a minimalist and focus on the most important things: God, family and my business. It’s definitely not easy to do, but I’m taking baby steps.
Cam | Bibs & Baubles
February 16, 2012 at 1:05 pm#teamMimi ! I agree that if you do things from a kind and genuine place forget the other stuff. My husband is the same way about me giving money to random folks. I don’t do it ALL the time but more than he would like. He’s concerned about people taking advantage of me. I figure, it came from a pure place on my part. If they’re being shady, they’ll get there’s but my conscience will be clear. Ya know? I said all that to say – #teamMimi
Dre Davis
February 16, 2012 at 1:06 pmI don’t think kindness is a form of weakness at all. However, there are some that prey on the kindness of others and may try to take advantage of them. Me and my Mr. go through this scenario all the time because I have often have trouble saying no. In the past I’ve had the tendency to spread myself too thinly when it comes to getting things done because of this. Lately I’ve been learning to prioritize and trying to say no without feeling guilty. It takes practice, but it will become second nature soon (or at least that’s what hubs thinks lol).
Baby Shopaholic
February 16, 2012 at 4:34 pmI agree with Mr! People do mistake kindness for weakness. At least the people that will abuse your kindness, mistake it for weakness.
Nellie
February 16, 2012 at 6:24 pmI also agree with the mr. People DO take kindness for weakness sometimes–however–I also believe in Karma and that your good deeds never go unnoticed. Keep doing your thing, we need more people like you in the world to balance out all the madness. #teammimi
KalleyC
February 16, 2012 at 7:32 pmHmm, it can be looked at a form of weakness, but I honestly don’t think that it is. You know what’s in your heart when you say yes. I don’t mind going out of my way to help someone, but when I see that they are taking that for granted, or expect it of me, then I back off. We all have our limits and we all have to know when we reach them. It’s like that imaginary line in the sand, you know when someone crossed it.
Nerd Girl
February 17, 2012 at 12:21 pmCall me weak then. I think the world could use a lot more kindness and I am determined to be as kind as I can, as often as I can, to as many as I can. I believe that we are blessed to be a blessing. I don’t worry too much about other people’s motives – I do what I’m led to do and move on.
Having said all that – I do have my limits 🙂
Rose's Daughter
February 17, 2012 at 3:23 pmPeople do take kindness for weakness, but as long as you know your limits and don’t let people take advantage, do you.
Candace (NYStateofMom)
February 18, 2012 at 3:35 pmI’m tied. I am just like you and the Wasband sounded just like your Mr. I’ve learned how to pick and choose my NO. I don’t do things for people expecting anything back but because it might be something for me to do. People def see it as a weakness because they think no matter what they can always get a yes from you without considering what it takes from you so you have to learn to think self first sometimes and find that balance.
YUMMommy
February 19, 2012 at 8:19 pmKindness is never weakness. Karma is very real. While we might not know when someone is taking advantage of us all the time, God will. And they will get their just reward!!
GG
February 21, 2012 at 10:10 amI actually think that kindness is a strength. There are times when it would be much easier to take another route. But to be intentionally kind is definitely a road less traveled. Probably the balance you’re seeking is similar to the one I find myself on and that’s to be kind and still have boundaries. We have to be kind to ourselves first 🙂
Charee
February 24, 2012 at 11:08 amAwwwww, this is toooo cute!!!!