I have been thinking about my mother alot lately. Not in a sad way but just wishing she was here for me to grab a spot at the bottom of her bed, curl up and fire off all of the randomness in my head and get her honest opinions. She has been gone nearly three years. Maybe it is high time I go and visit her grave, which I have never been back to and get a few things off of my chest. Might be good for the soul.
This week I have also found myself in my thoughts about my next steps. I go through this every month or so. Within the span of a week, I have thought about going back to work, looking into freelance writing, mapping out my next steps for Divinitee, along with a plethora of other things and not in that particular order. What’s next? What am I supposed to be doing? I have tossed these scenarios around and around in my head and have yet to get a clue. In my thoughts I have come to the conclusion that I feel disconnected from God. I am not a Bible verse spewing individual but it is no clue if you have been here long enough that I am a believer.
At one point these thoughts would have never taken hold, because I always believed that God had the ultimate control in my life and whatever I was supposed to do, or wherever I was supposed to be He would make sure it came to fruition. This place of turmoil and unrest is not of God and I need to fix it. Its a process but I need to take the first step and start reading my Bible more and drawing near…I need to be able to hear the still small voice above my ramblings. I need to spend time with Him daily in the morning before I start my day and get back to a place of resting in Him. This is placed at the top of my to do list. NOTHING will get started daily until I take out this time. Its important and I need it.
Sooo..I am waiting in the carpool line to pick up my son the other day when I heard “Order My Steps” on the radio. I haven’t hear that song in For.ever. I took that as a sign that God is telling me to chill out and let Him do the directing..I think I will!
Do you ever get all loopy and crazy about what you are supposed to be doing? What is your remedy or safe haven from your own thoughts?!
11 Comments
Kimberly
February 10, 2011 at 11:12 pmWhat’s exciting and sometimes scary about life is that God is in control. People say that all the time right, but what does it mean? It means that before you realized that you needed him , he was there. Before you stopped the noise in your head, he was there. Before you turned from your girlfriend’s advice to seek him, he was there. I head about a lady who prayed (on her knees) for 21 days straight and experienced a tremendous break through in her life. I decided to try it. That was about 6 months ago. Since then, I have experienced blessing after blessing after blessing. It is as normal as the seasons to have days where you question everything about your life. When I have those days, I just stop what I am doing and do something else. Normally, I’d go shopping or to the spa, but in these economic times, I just be still and focus. Thanks for sharing the song. It’s actually one of my favorites. xoxo,
kimberly
Candace
February 11, 2011 at 3:58 amMy safe haven? Prayer! I was right in your spot 2 yrs ago when my life looked like HELL and I realized it was because I stop letting HIM be in control and even stopped asking HIM about anything and things needed to change. I can say ever since then things have gotten better and we talk more and more, I still need to get back to the Book more and find a church home for us but things are better when He directs. This song gets me every time, thanks for posting.
GG
February 11, 2011 at 9:03 amI agree with the other ladies that what you are feeling is normal and necessary. It’s just a sign that you it’s time to reconnect with God. There’s a lot of noise in this world, and then we have all the noise in our own heads, and sometimes we allow all of that to overpower our Inner Guide. Find that time for yourself (I know it’s hard!) whether it’s in the shower, or before everyone wakes up or whatever, to just be still, meditate, pray. I personally LOVE yoga and I listen to meditation cd’s to help me quiet my own mental ramblings. And one more thing, don’t let the time thing catch you up. We’re on God’s time, so we shouldn’t get frustrated or antsy when we think our progress is “taking too long”. There’s a time to question and there’s a time to receive the answers and to have balance, you have to accept the necessity of both. Enjoy and appreciate the moment you’re in right now, even with the uncertainty. Every moment counts!
sorry I went off on a tangent! You know I love this kind of stuff!!! :))))))
Peyton's Mom
February 11, 2011 at 9:45 amThanks for posting this! Things are crazy with a new baby and all, I have not taken the time out and need too!
Kita
February 11, 2011 at 12:40 pmIt is hard because sometimes you want clear answers and I sometimes miss the signs of what I am suppose to be doing. My mom would be their to answer most of my questions and she is not so I have gotten closer to God since she has been gone. I feel lost most of the times but one thing that I hold true to is to always do what you love to do. If you have a certain talent then make that talent your career. I always tell people if you are good at something then do that you will always work harder at something that you love to do. Like one of the other ladies said enjoy your moment in the now the future will become clear one step at a time.
Krissy
February 11, 2011 at 12:45 pmI give everything to God. I mean I worry just like everyone else. I stress over things for a few mins. Then I remember that some things are just out of my control and I give them to God. He’s never left me to drown so I know he’s got me. I mean, I am his girl after all lol.
I don’t read the bible. I don’t attend church often but I do believe that God knows my heart and my relationship with him is right where it needs to be. There are times when I sit by myself in a room full of quiet and I speak aloud to God and he listens and gives the greatest advice.
Chellany
February 11, 2011 at 4:42 pmI so needed this…. Thanks for this post! Everyday, I am learning to stop and listen because HE has a way of giving you all of the answers you are looking for.
Jessica
February 14, 2011 at 12:59 pmFabulous post and message. I am learning, always learning that I am not in control, that the plan of my life is not in my hands. I am learning to accept the winding paths on my life’s journey for what they are. I am learning that the most beautiful moments are unplanned. I am learning to be thankful for it all.
Rose's Daughter
February 14, 2011 at 1:21 pmI think that as women, we are always trying to do it all, trying to plan everything, trying to get everything done. But we always forget that we are not in control God is. It’s hard to let go, but like my mother always says: “Let go and Let God.”
YUMMommy
February 17, 2011 at 5:42 pmI have been feeling loopy and confused for a few years now. But once I finally let God do the ordering it’s amazing how past signs of where He was trying to lead me became clearer. I had missed them because I was so caught up on trying to solve problem and fight the battles. I was focusing on negative stuff and drama that didn’t concern me.
I always that if you are passionate about something and it keeps haunting you, that is God’s way of telling you what your calling is. It’s up to you to let Him show you and help open up doors for to move forward with it. That means that you act on the vision and then trust Him to make the vision come to life through your hard work and determination. Divinitee is going to be a success!! And if you feel like He’s calling you to do a little freelance writing, that will be a success as well.
Just take the first step and trust Him to continue ordering the rest!!
Kiea
February 18, 2011 at 7:32 pmIt definitely sounds like you’re on the right path. Geeesh, I swear we have parallel lives right now! What up kindred sister!!??? 🙂 I know God will reveal to you in due time…