Let me just say, thirteen years is a long time, and during that time life happens. You grow and change. Your spouse grows and changes and somehow you are charged with keeping it together while growing separately. I’m convinced personal growth is a necessary evil, even in marriage.

My online life has never been one about portraying perfection, it is what it is. Not even in the cliche mention of not being perfect…while still portraying perfect is an image I hope my online presence doesn’t portray. I want to feel touchable, reachable, like I can be your friend in your head so my musings on what marriage has taught me over the years is going to be real.

Ready? Let’s go.

PATIENCE. Pretty sure at this point I have the patience of a saint. I’ve always been fairly patient but I’ve learned to let things slide that aren’t worth my energy. HOWEVER, I will go off if I am continuously tried with the same thing.

PICK YOUR BATTLES. Listen. Everything doesn’t warrant your attention or energy. If it doesn’t ignore it. That goes for anything in life. If you are passionate about it, stand behind your conviction but really and truly sometimes it’s worth it to be the period in the discussion. A simple okay when someone expects you to carry on is the ultimate level of shade.

BE MINDFUL OF EACH OTHER’S UPBRINGING WHEN SETTING EXPECTATIONS. At one point in our marriage, I was needing something from my husband that he just didn’t seem to get, and vice versa. We were missing each other like two ships in the night, until it dawned on me that he never had a strong father figure. He was doing the best he know how, while I grew up with a father that is the poster child for being a great husband and father. I realize now it’s hard to expect someone to give you something they have never seen. The best thing we have ever done is talk through this, and in doing so we’ve learned to communicate what we need instead of expecting the other person to know.

FORGIVENESS. Self explanatory. Hard at times? Yes. Necessary? Yes. Ever heard the saying that “Forgiveness is for you, not the other person?” This is so true. Holding grudges is not productive and can tear a marriage apart. When we let ill feelings compound it creates a mountain that is hard to climb and get over.

LEARN THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE. I wasn’t a firm believer in this until we took the test and were total opposites. It was then that some missing pieces were finally put in place for me… and that was just a few months ago.

BE KIND…EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT. Kill ’em with kindness they said. Let them be mad by themselves… or if you are the one mad, you can be mad by yourself. Let’s forgive and move on for reasonable circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the ugly has to come out, but save the alter ego for extreme circumstances.

IF IT NEEDS TO BE DONE, JUST DO IT. We’ve moved away from gender roles and it has made everything so much better. This to me is the real definition of teamwork.

LAUGH TOGETHER. We do this well. We are very good friends, and let me tell you it is very important to be friends with your spouse. There will be times when love isn’t enough, it’s then that the friendship kicks in to get you through.

ADDRESS TENSION. Somebody has an attitude for seemingly no reason? Don’t feed into it, ask what the problem is. They may assume you know and vice versa. We’re not relying on mindreading these days, please use your words.

LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY. My husband and I aren’t perfect, we are about as far apart on the spectrum as possible, but our love for one another is very strong, and very real. Yes, he gets on my nerves, yes there have been times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel but the love we have has stood the test of time…well 13 years.

I’m joining a couple of other bloggers for a fun blog hop. We’re all sharing our love stories and hosting a fun giveaway on Instagram for a $100 gift card to Ruth Chris Steakhouse. For the next blog on the hop, head over to Decorating Cents to read her love story. Then slide over to Instagram to enter to win the gift card!

This week’s project 52’s prompt was “My Favorite.” Outside of my obvious favorites like God, my family, and friends I thought I would use this week’s post to highlight some of the items that are currently on my faves list.

Books.

These are the books I’m reading right now, and I won’t talk about the rate that I keep adding books to my to-read list as if I have tons of time. I recently joined a book club in my neighborhood, so I’m hoping to finish “Becoming” at within the next week so I can get started on our book club selection in time for our next meeting.

Red lipstick.

I love a good red lipstick. For months my old favorite has been Missy and Fierce (930B) from the Wet and Wild Liquid Catsuit line. It’s about $2.99 at the drugstore. It’s absolutely amazing, it’s the one you more than 9 times out of 10 see me wearing. I’ve recently fallen in love with NYX (SMLC10) Monte Carlo in soft matte. I keep no less than 4 red lipsticks in my purse at all times.

Copper tea kettle.

Thanks to a few good friends, I’ve fallen in love with pour over coffee. I figure it would taste better if I got myself a fancy kettle to boil my water in. Grabbed this one from Amazon and I LOVE it. It’s so pretty. I almost feel like I need to get into loose-leaf tea to get more use of it.

Mrs. Meyer’s products in the scent Basil.

I’ve recently fallen in love with any Mrs. Meyer’s product in the “Basil” scent. While I’m not new to the product line, I discovered the scent when my favorite, which WAS lemon wasn’t available. I’ve recently ordered a variety of scents from Grove Collaborative so stayed tuned. There may be a new favorite on the horizon. But for now Basil is it.

Fine-Liner pens.

For Christmas I received two sets of these fine-liner pens. I put them on my Elfster list for a few gift exchanges I participated in, and lucky for me I got the exact same gifts twice! I absolutely love these pens.

Gold earrings.

Cute earrings are high on my list of must haves. I picked up the smaller pair from Burlington, and the thin hoops from Ross. Combined I paid no more than $10 for both pairs, I’m sorry if you are tired of seeing me in them. I love them.

Dollar Tree precision ink pens.

Nothing makes my heart happy like a good ink pen. Those fine-liners above aren’t perfect for everyday writing, but these precision ones from Dollar Tree are. The fact that these come 2 in a pack for $1 make them even better. If you pick some up, make sure you get the ones that say “precision” there are ones that look similar but they are NOT the same. These hands down are on par with a few of the more expensive pens. They only carry these a few times a year. Stock up.

As of right now, these are 7 of my absolute favorite things. While simple, they bring me joy daily. What are some of your favorite things? I’d love to give them a try.

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