Becoming a mother by far has been THEE most intimidating and daunting task in my life yet. When I had my son, I threw myself wholeheartedly into motherhood and quickly found myself in a bad space. Prior to having children I travelled, I shopped, I was an all around fun person. Wherever the party was, I was there. So to go from being an outgoing person to a home ridden young mother I was miserable.
I quickly found that it was not necessary to forego “me” to be a mom. With the birth of my daughter I was determined not to fall in that rut again. As hard as it has been I have been making an effort to make sure I get out as often as I can to enjoy some of the things that I did before I had children.
Recently, I have noticed that some people have thrown themselves into motherhood, to the point that every discussion they have or tweet or blog about is their children, breastfeeding, poop, etc. I have nothing against that, we all have our own purpose in life, but it has caused me to think that maybe I am selfish. I mean when I became a mother I knew that was a huge undertaking that would involve giving of myself unconditionally and maybe I am supposed to obsess about parenting and such…or maybe not.
I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and we discussed whether some mothers really enjoy motherhood as much as they proclaim. I am starting to think that some women are groomed to be mothers and they find worthiness in keeping house. But I have come to realize that won’t work for me. I’ve even beat myself up in the process but in the end, its settled… I must have balance. Even if its only a girls night out once a month or conversations regarding nail polish, the fall fashions or the latest song on the radio. I need those interactions. They complete me. They make me feel good.
I didn’t realize how much so until last week when I got together with a couple of women I totally adore and we had a nail polish party. We drank wine, ate cake pops and laughed. It felt good. This past weekend I joined a couple of friends for dinner at a new restaurant here in the city. Again, I felt alive.
My question to you…Is it really possible to love motherhood so much that you no longer care about or even try to do the things that once made you happy or is it all a facade? Do you think its really important to try to find that balance in your life…does it matter?
