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Life• mommy• My Babies

Christmas Memories—Cookies!!

I have these warm and fuzzy memories of Christmas time as a child. My mom baked, she made crafts with me, took me ice skating along with a plethora of other activities that made me cry when Christmas was over. These memories even evoke a few tears now as I think of her and all of the sacrifices she made to create a magical holiday experience for me as a child as a single mother. There is no doubt in my mind that if she was still here she would be taking it to the next level for my children. Unfortunately she isn’t, so I have to grab the torch and start creating memories for my children. I must say I am a bit disappointed in myself for not creating a better experience for my son. However, there is no better time than the present to make a change. Lil Man is now 5, the perfect age for me to start creating awesome holiday memories for him. Over the next few weeks, I will post a series called “Christmas Memories” under which I will detail projects, and places that we attend in starting our own family Christmas traditions. For all my faithful readers for the 4,589th time you know I don’t cook, I don’t bake and I’m not crafty so these posts are sure to pack holiday cheer and laughter in the literal sense!

Last night started the festivities. He asked about making Christmas cookies, and I promised him we would, but that was before I realized I was exhausted. For those of you with children around Lil Man’s age you already know there is no such thing as making a promise and not sticking to it. He must have asked a million times when we were going to start on the cookies. It was in the best interest of my sanity to stand by my word, so I headed out in the pouring rain toWalmart for cookie cutters, cookie mix and sugar and we made cookies…..

All supplies on deck

Let’s get this party started

Mixing it up

The next step called for flattening the dough on a floured surface. I decided to put the flour on the kitchen table so he could reach, and since I don’t have a rolling pin we had to improvise and use a carafe *gotta stay quick on your feet*

He’s working it out…

Dad even joined in on the fun after calling me out for the bootleg rolling pin

The end product…I turned my back for a minute, thus the insane amount of sugar

Check out Lil Mama eyeing the cookies with the open hand

After all was said and done he was so happy..and that made me ecstatic. We sat down together and enjoyed them with a glass of milk over a mother and son discussion about his day. I think our first activity went over well!

What are some of your favorite Christmas traditions?

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Me• mommy• My Babies• NaBloPoMo

Waaaaaaaaa I Want My Mommy

So today was one of those all over the place type of days…one minute its good the next minute your like what just happened here. If I didn’t have to post every day under the blogging challenge you may have never read this post…but writing is a form of therapy, right?

Day starts off great, Friday morning the Mr. and I are leaving for our annual trip to the mountains. Yes, the one where we had to scramble to find a babysitter, well who knew there would still be issues with that today. I call to confirm the arrangements and said family member who is keeping the baby mentions to me that she has alot going on and her neighbor volunteered to keep the baby and that if it was okay with me she would send the baby over there for a night or a day..UMMM THAT RIGHT THERE WOULD BE A BIG FAT NEGATIVE..Now I know the neighbor but I don’t know the neighbor…ya feel me? I get off the phone and call the Mr. to discuss, cause I couldn’t have possibly just heard that right, and he was livid. Said that he would stay behind but the baby would not be staying anywhere other than at the family member’s house.

I was already apprehensive about leaving the baby, this is my first time leaving her with anybody so to add this foolishness on top of my craziness was too much. One of my besties is out of town but will be back on Saturday and is going to go and get the baby and keep her until we get back. Crisis diverted again, but by now I am bawling my eyes out. Boo hoo crying, snot, hiccups you know the whole nine.

It is these times that I miss my mother with all of my being. If she were here I wouldn’t have to worry about asking anyone to keep my children, they would be at home, snug and cozy with a grandma that loves them. A wonderful woman that without a doubt would have baked Adrian cookies while softly singing I’m a Little Teapot to Addison. I zoned out, I could see the whole scene going down, I saw her smile and it even felt like I smelled a whiff of her perfume. I’m only 31, I can’t help but feel on days like this that I got cheated. Why couldn’t I be the two ladies I see in the store, where the daughter is holding the mother’s arm, I still need my mom…Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s not fair. *arms folded*…but it’s life and everything is all in God’s plan.

I said a prayer and asked God to send comfort because my babies needed me, and we needed food and I needed to get to Target. I dried my eyes, got my babies together and life went on..and it will continue to move on. These days will come, but the beauty is I now know to seek God’s face and keep it moving. On our way to Target I played “I’ll Trust You” by James Fortune. This is the very song I heard on the way to the hospital when we got the call that we needed to come and say our final good byes…Ironically, this song brings a smile to my face instead of tears because that is what Trusting God will do!

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Me• mommy

I Think I’ll Run On….

Today is the first day of the last class I need to earn my MBA. I think we all have lived long enough to realize that with the end of a chapter a new one starts. Sometimes we know what’s coming next and other times we are walking blindfolded leaning on faith with a keen ear to the heavens listening for that small, still voice regarding which direction to go. I have no idea what is coming next with the completion of this task but at this very moment I am so proud of myself for starting this process and finishing it amongst all of the tomfoolery, foolishness, and mayhem that reared its ugly head in the two and half years it took me to finish.

See, when I started this journey I had big dreams for my pending MBA status. I would doodle my name with a comma behind it and the letters MBA. I was going to climb the corporate ladder and lead meetings and throw around the fact that I had a masters degree, because at the time the perception of what people thought of those that had an MBA in my mind overpowered the enormous amount of dedication and will power that it takes to start and finish something in the face of adversity and life changes.

That fantasy, la la land that I was living in got dealt a swift kick in the gut when my mother died only four months into the program. She wanted this for me, I started this for her, but somehow she bowed out gracefully before I even got started good. When she left I knew finishing wasn’t an option. There were nights when I thought my laptop might short circuit from the enormous amount of tears that fell on my keyboard while typing assignments through tear blurred vision…I kept typing. At times I was working 50+hours a week, I didn’t eat on my lunch breaks, or I typed waiting on my flights, or muted conference calls typing vigorously at my desk so when I got home they would have my undivided attention..I slept when I found time. I cried some nights when it was 3a and I had to get ready for work and mentally prepare myself for a 2 hour commute that started at 6a…I kept reading. I kept the party going, and tried to never let them see me sweat, and look at me now..I FINISHED!!!

FAST FORWARD….

Soooo….all that jazz about spewing around my accomplishments and putting MBA behind my name is now a bunch of stupidity in my current mind space. I could care less if someone had MBA, GED or STUPID behind their name. What really matters is the G O O D that we put forth in this life in taking care of our obligations, chasing our dreams and helping others. If I want anyone to know me as anything, I’ll put DREAM CHASER behind my name. That garners more acclaim than any level of education, or career accomplishment in my book. Don’t get me wrong higher education is a great thing to have for those who want it, and I have since learned to respect those who have taken the journey for their level of dedication and not the fact that they have a piece of paper or letters behind their name because many start but never finish many things in life independent of educational aspirations.

In ten weeks, I’ll get the tangible representation of my hardwork and dedication in paper form and I will leave it at my mothers grave, and I’ll take the knowledge and start a new journey…right now I don’t know where it will lead me but as the old folks used to say…I think I’ll run on and see what the end gonna be!!!

Mommy, this one’s for you!!!

What have you started and finished in the face of adversity that can evoke a smile and tears at the same time?

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