Closed Doors?

I shall be a little in my feelings today. No pretty pictures just an emotion and epiphany that came over me last week about allowing people into your space read opening and closing the doors to your peace of mind.

With much anxiety I made the decision to shut some people out of my life. Closing the doors on these friendships didn’t come from a place of malice but rather a need to be able to grow as I needed without snide comments or constantly feeling the need to explain my personal goals. At the time I needed people to “get it” I needed them to “get me” and unfortunately some people didn’t meet the challenge and as hard as it was I had to let go.

Closed doors 1


In my letting go, I found myself in the company of magnificent women from the interwebs and real life who got it. They fed my need to continuously grow and thrive and strive for better. They understood that it’s truly not cool to be in the same place, doing the same things you did in your 20s that don’t contribute to long term financial, physical and spiritual sustainability.

As I find myself in a good space now. A space that needs no confirmation or support from anyone I contemplated reopening a few doors because I have a forgiving heart and the desire to love those in open who I have known for many years. These thoughts crossed my mind for a few days. I even wrestled with them. One day last week someone reached out to me. A person I don’t know and shared some information with me about a door I was going to attempt to reopen. Whether the information she shared with me was true or not, it was enough to bring that situation back to light (in my truth)  and let me know that at times it is okay to truly move forward and love people from a distance.


Closed doors 2


As sad as it is, I am having these weird feelings of letting go again. The result this time since I’ve gotten myself and my circle together? I’ve found that it is quite okay to shut SOME doors, LEAVE them shut and even add a storm/burglar door to which I have no key.


Have you reopened closed doors? How did that work for YOU? Do you believe in forgiving and forgetting and trusting again?


About the author
Mom, wife and friend. I moonlight as a cooker, baker, laundry folder and organizer. I like to think I do it in style. Unlikely Martha is my contribution to the internet in helping women "Keep House and Stay Fly!"


  1. Honey I have been all in emotions lately as well. Thank you for sharing. Healthy boundaries are important, especially when you are dreaming bug dreams and walking in faith! Plus, J15 is tomorrow – we don’t have time for all that!
    Niecy recently posted..Singleness is not equal

  2. I have opened a door. Just one. My best friend from childhood. We fell out some years ago when we were still kids ( high school) and as adults we have reconnected. The relationship will never be what it was but I can say today we are friends. Sometimes it takes awhile to reopen doors and sometimes they just need to remain closed forever.
    krissy recently posted..Strictly Professional: Christina Jones!

  3. I have reopened some doors and found myself questioning a few weeks or months later” why did you allow this person back in your space”. I believe in forgiveness and forgetting but let me be honest and say it’s not easy because at times I keep looking back which brings me to trust, I don’t really trust people like I know I should,my dad always tells me I over analyze everyone because I feel like everyone has a motive due to past experiences. This is where the love of God comes in play, because I know His love for us is unwavering so while it’s ok to close doors and walk away we can love from a distance and I am learning that everyday. Thanks so much for this post:)

  4. I don’t reopen doors. Once people do something that is not to my liking or does not fall in line with who I am growing to become I let them go. A hi and bye will be the only thing you get from me if doors have been closed. I don’t trust people which is one of the reasons why my circle is so tight and I don’t have to close doors often. It takes a lot for me to let others into the core of me. It’s lonely but I have 0 drama and a peace like non other.
    Kita recently posted..Talk Tuesday

  5. I don’t typically reopen doors. I live by the quote, “When people show you who they are believe them…”. It took me some time to get there though. Now I immediately cut ties when I see that someone isn’t going to be a good friend or a good addition to my support system. We don’t always have to agree and I am not looking for a “Yes Girl” but you have to support the decisions I make without any snide remarks or shade being thrown. Be happy for my hustle cause I’m always going to be happy for yours.
    Tia recently posted..Preschool at Home: Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

  6. I believe in forgiving, but not forgetting. When people show us who we are, we need to remember that. Otherwise, we leave ourselves open to being made a fool of again. Closing doors whether it’s friends, family or business is needed sometimes in life. Some relationships we just outgrow and hanging on to them can be damaging.

    If the relationships are meant to be again, you’ll know it.
    K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy recently posted..5 On Friday

  7. Oh hunny! I’ve been battling some doors too. Trying to make sure closing or reopening them are the right decisions. I’m lost. But one thing is sure, I’ve grown to realize that if they aren’t contributing a great impact on your life, let them go. Some doors take a while to close, and if you seek the best in reopening any doors, make sure you let them know that you can slam that sh*t right back in their face. (Thats the thug in me). LOL
    Amanda Nicole recently posted..Missing voices…..

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