To Have or Not To Have is the Question

Lil Mama left on Saturday evening and will be gone until Tuesday morning. I miss my baby, and although it has been really nice to have some time to myself at home, I can’t wait for her to come back. Tomorrow, Lil Man and I are going to head out to the city and visit the World of Coca Cola and Children’s Museum’s. He is looking forward to spending some time alone with me. It never really crossed my mind that he misses being the only child until he told me the other day. I now know I have to make a better effort at spending more one on one time with him.

Being a parent is so hard at times. I always want my babies to have the best of me and when he told me that he misses those times it made me feel bad that maybe as a mother I have neglected him in some way. I know I am being “drama queen” but that’s how it made me feel. I think we get so consumed some times in providing the basics for our children that we forget they could really careless about those things and would rather have us and our undivided attention. This is part of the reason why I struggle with having more children. I would love one more but honestly I don’t know if I could be fair and provide each with the level of attention that they would need. I don’t come from a large family, so I know some people have an argument regarding why a large family is suitable but for ME I don’t think its fair to have a house full of children if they can never get time alone with you..they need that time in their early years.

Also, having more children would further limit my time with the Mr. I got married and had children, I don’t think I would ever want to just become parents and married people in passing. Children require alot, and unfortunately they don’t stay sweet squishy babies for long, they grow up, talk back, want to borrow your car etc….I think people fall in love with the baby stage not realizing that as they grow they actually require your time and mental capacity. Parenting is such a huge task, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Some may say I overthink everything but somethings just can’t be left to chance and that’s how I feel about parenting.

Okay, enough of my ramblings!! How many children do you want to have? How did you come to that conclusion? Am I crazy?!!