Veni, Vidi………..

I’m all for transparency. I’ve been vocal about people not looking at my Instagram squares and the pretty pictures I take and using those little snippets to create a vision of what this life looks life. I’ll tell you, I’m wealthy because of my family and my positive attitude but sometimes a sister feels beat down, discouraged and overwhelmed.

Lately I’ve been feeling more like I came, I saw, and I got conquered.

Today I just decided I was going to sit in those feelings for a minute. Sit in them, let them make me sad, let them make me ponder exactly what I’m  doing with my life outside of being a wife and mother. Do I take the right or left path? Why is she getting more opportunities than me? When will it be my turn? All of that.

I’m pretty good at pushing negativity out of my way but sometimes I have to sit in my thoughts so they can encourage me to go after that thing and keep pressing.

I sat for a long time today. I wanted the tears to come because there is something cleansing  about a good cry that releases the frustration, but they didn’t fall. They aren’t far off, but clearly not close enough because I would’ve liked to wrap up the pity party today.

I guess the timing isn’t right and we all know it is everything.

Here’s to not having to feel forced to feel your best everyday. Here’s to showing the world your vulnerability. Here’s to all of us who want the tears to fall already but they won’t. They will in due time, the question is do we let them water our seeds or drown our intentions.

I’m a gardener. How about you?