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Relationships

Life Relationships Sanity

Closed Doors?

I shall be a little in my feelings today. No pretty pictures just an emotion and epiphany that came over me last week about allowing people into your space read opening and closing the doors to your peace of mind.

With much anxiety I made the decision to shut some people out of my life. Closing the doors on these friendships didn’t come from a place of malice but rather a need to be able to grow as I needed without snide comments or constantly feeling the need to explain my personal goals. At the time I needed people to “get it” I needed them to “get me” and unfortunately some people didn’t meet the challenge and as hard as it was I had to let go.

Closed doors 1

Source

In my letting go, I found myself in the company of magnificent women from the interwebs and real life who got it. They fed my need to continuously grow and thrive and strive for better. They understood that it’s truly not cool to be in the same place, doing the same things you did in your 20s that don’t contribute to long term financial, physical and spiritual sustainability.

As I find myself in a good space now. A space that needs no confirmation or support from anyone I contemplated reopening a few doors because I have a forgiving heart and the desire to love those in open who I have known for many years. These thoughts crossed my mind for a few days. I even wrestled with them. One day last week someone reached out to me. A person I don’t know and shared some information with me about a door I was going to attempt to reopen. Whether the information she shared with me was true or not, it was enough to bring that situation back to light (in my truth)  and let me know that at times it is okay to truly move forward and love people from a distance.

 

Closed doors 2

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As sad as it is, I am having these weird feelings of letting go again. The result this time since I’ve gotten myself and my circle together? I’ve found that it is quite okay to shut SOME doors, LEAVE them shut and even add a storm/burglar door to which I have no key.

I’m GOOD!

Have you reopened closed doors? How did that work for YOU? Do you believe in forgiving and forgetting and trusting again?

 

Relationships

LOVE

Happy Valentines Day!!

Love is so complex, and encompasses so much that I am never really able to put the fullness that it gives me into words. It is like one of those unspoken things, you know it when you have it and *in my Jill Scott voice*…and I know, what I know…and I know what I know…ahhhhhhhh

Loving is a journey, ups and down, turns and twists but the realization is even when you feel like you have a lack of it you have an abundance. Love in all of its mighty forms sculpts and molds us into wonderful or hurt people. Those are our decisions to make because God’s love is always there. It’s that love that enables us to conquer all and keep the course when everyone else is gone. We’re all loved.

Love of God

I honestly pray that no matter your journey you choose to let love prevail. It feels so good and it goes so far!

If you are new here and want to see the Mr. and I’s love story in pictures….Here you go

Love y’all!!!

 

Relationships

A Little Too Open Minded?

How was your weekend?

Mine was low key with nothing spectacular and blog worthy so I am going to pose a question to you that I have pondered a bit since having a conversation with a friend of mine.

I rarely, okay practically never bring *whispers* the S word around here but lets talk a bit today. Not about that in specific but kinda sort of. Stay with me.

Something was brought to my attention regarding the looking at and partaking of inappropriate images. Use your imagination if you will. The conversation stemmed around husbands or boyfriends taking a peek at other women’s lady parts and rear ends via lets say a magazine, website, “scrip club”, something of the like.

The question was posed to me regarding would I care if my Mr. decided to participate in visual fantasies.

If you’ve been around here long enough you probably know the answer and if you don’t know let me tell you. I. Don’t. Care. Not only do I not care but I don’t understand women who have a problem with this.

Now I understand from a mysogny, moral and religious standpoint why some people have issue with this and I get that but removing that from the equation why would someone find this a problem? I find most people don’t often list the aforementioned as their disdain with said behaviors, but rather don’t want their man looking at or lusting if you will at another woman.

I have been known to throw caution to the wind on things that send most people in a tail spin and go bonkers while others have their feet up. I’m wired a little different but I like to see what makes other people tick.

In MY opinion insecurities are what cause these things to become issues in relationships. Now I’m not talking about him being at a point where he needs help with an addiction, I’m just talking about a peek here, a once a year trip to the Gentleman’s Club with some homies that came in town, those every now and then moments.

I tend to think when women put limits on things like that, it leads to sneaky behavior. Let’s be honest you can tell someone all day what you don’t want them to do but if they really want to do it…guess what. I would rather compromise and agree to disagree than to have him going behind my back. It’s the sneaky behaviors that lead to questionable behavior in my thoughts. I find so many woman are closed up with their sexuality that maybe their man uses that as a coping mechanism to keep from cheating? Am I stretching?

What’s your take?

Marriage Relationships The Mr.

SEVEN

September 2nd marks seven years that the Mr. and I have been married. The road has been long, bumpy, narrow, wide, and non existent at times but I am happy to say that it is now paved with asphalt and we have truly reached that point in our marriage where I would like to believe that nothing can break us.

I rarely speak about the Mr. in this space because he is some what private, not to mention I have something with people who are always talking about how spectacular their significant other is. I always feel like they are trying to convince themselves instead of me. That’s another story for another day. Kind of like no one goes around saying how awesome wives and mothers are because its expected…

I digress.

Well, I came up with the ingenious idea to have the Mr. and myself list out 7 things we have learned during this journey that has contributed to the current state of happiness within our marriage.

Keep in mind we are not experts!