As a child I wasn’t privy to wearing name brands. My mom raised me as a single mother and while my father was there for me financially and physically, my mother still struggled at times to make ends meet. Only way I got something name brand was if it was on sale or it was given to me as a gift. Once I hit high school I was given the good ‘ole if you want it then you need to buy it talk. Once I started working I never looked back.
Now as a responsible adult, I will.NOT break the bank for name brands any longer but if I find nice things on sale I will purchase them. I am guilty of purchasing a large amount of Polo for Lil Man. I get the shirts from Marshall’s or the Polo outlet. I have my preference and I love little boys in Polo so I buy it, when I can. Weelllll somewhere along the way Lil Man got it twisted and started to think it’s his RIGHT to wear Ralph Lauren. The other day I picked up some shirts for him, brought them home and gave them to him. Do you know he looked at me with the straight face and told me he couldn’t wear them because there wasn’t a Polo man on it. WHAAAAA? Then I had to have that let me tell you one thing talk with him. You know the talk, the one that as you verbally speak out loud, in your head you are repeating to yourself D*&% I sound like my mother.
Later on I started thinking. He has never really known what its like to want something and not be able to get it, or be made fun of because he doesn’t wear the popular sneakers. We haven’t intentionally created this environment for him, at least I don’t think. As parents I think we have maybe given him too much and now in an effort to raise a well rounded and grateful child it may be time to start pulling back and instead start teaching him lessons that he is indeed blessed to have the things that he does and those things are not necessities but extras.
I guess I assumed that he would know but how would he if we don’t teach him. I guess it all comes with the curse of wanting our children to have more than we ever had but that comes at a cost. The cost that if we don’t take the time out to explain to them those things come with hard work and dedication we could easily raise a spoiled brat who feels entitled to the finer things in life..not gonna happen.
Note taken, lesson learned.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, remember the post here about him talking back. Well he has gotten worse. I blogged that rant over at Mami 2 Mommy on Monday. Go read, and give your girl some feedback. Between Lil Mama standing up and Lil Man running off at the mouth, I am worn OWT! Somebody buy me a “drank” puhlease!
8 Comments
Alicia @MommyDelicious
March 29, 2011 at 11:34 pmYet another teachable moment. I also buy name brand clothing for my son when they are on sale, but I don’t tell him it’s name brand. When referring to it, I usually say something like, “please go get the blue shoes” as opposed to “get the Nike shoes.” I really want him to be able to appreciate the things we have and be grateful for it, just like you. I think your lil man will learn a great lesson from this.
Franchesca Lane
March 29, 2011 at 11:41 pmI like that you took a moment where you could of “went off” and made it a teachable moment. My son is ten (about to be 11) and I have to remember not to “go off” when he talks about name brands. I actually started to make him use some of his allowance money to purchase items so that he can see the value of money! Needless to say..he NEVER wants to spend his money! lol
lynn
March 30, 2011 at 9:31 amFirst, thanks for the Birthday wishes and I appreciate the compliment.
Now, I am a die hard POLO fan for boys. They have great clothes and they are well made. I too, buy them on sale and a TJ Maxx or Marshalls. Now, that being said. He at almost 12, does not understand a thing about a designer label. He would go outside naked if I let him, oh as long as he could wear his Kobe Bryant sneakers. He is into athletic shoes all of a sudden? He saves his allowance and is responsible to contribute atleast $10 toward the purchase of his sneakers. I think because of this practice, he takes better care of them and hopefully can appreciate the value. At five, this is a teachable moment for sure. Sounds like you handled it very well. Parenting is a daily challenge!
besos,lynn
Kita
March 30, 2011 at 9:32 amHmm I buy a variety of clothes some of everything. Mines have never been partilcular with the clothes but he does like to match and dress nice. If I put on a washed out pants or shirt that is not nice he will say ” Mom I need something that looks a little better than that” I dress him any kind of way when he goes to school because I don’t want him to mess up his good clothes. The discipline thing I let his dad deal with him if he gets to out of hand for some reason the both of them are more scared of dad than me. I talk a lot with dad he says something one time and they usually listen. This is the best time to teach them while they soak up everything like a sponge.
Peyton's Mom
March 30, 2011 at 9:44 amHe is pretty young to be on that already. I am sure I am creating a monster!!! But my mom did it to me… I think I turned out ok… i think : )
Candace (NYStateofMom)
March 30, 2011 at 10:56 amWOW!! I’m like you, I love a little boy in Ralph Lauren too so that is basically all Chunks has, beside his play clothes. We weren’t name brand kids either and I do kind of have the mindset that he should have the nicer things. Right now I’m on outlet, online with promo-code shopper since he grows out of things fast but thanks for the heads up, we’ll scale things back a bit because it doesn’t get any cheaper as they get older.
Jennifer G.
March 30, 2011 at 11:22 amIt’s cute that your lil man likes him some Ralph Lauren! But yes, it sounds like it might be time to explain that the shirts with the polo guy cost more money, so he will have some shirts with and some without. My boys are ages 5 and 6. My 6 year old is VERY brand-conscious. He gets so excited when his shirt with the word GAP on it is clean and he can wear it to school!
Chellany
April 1, 2011 at 9:19 amYour post is deja vu for me… I had to have this this conversation with my son. He is now fifteen and YES still loves name brands but he is very aware that Mommy can only buy when the budget allows it. A definite lesson learned for me, because I am raising the little diva a whole lot differently.