Unlikely Martha
Family NaBloPoMo Parenting

I’m Not Here For This….

Before I get started I forgot that I never did the last installment of my blog awards recognition. The last person that awarded me an award was Laila over at Only Laila. I love Laila she is no nonsense and tells it like it is. Today I was given an award from Legally Chocolat over at Life after the Verdict. She’s an attorney. Doctors and attorneys are those professions that I look at in awe. You have to love folks who have the dedication to such things. Head over and check these ladies out if you aren’t already.

Now..I’m not here for anything below. Why? This situation hits a little close  to home with the whole blended family thing and my little corner of the interwebs is a little more popular these days and being that its Christmas and I’m on my Kris Kringle I’m keeping my opinions to myself. Ya feel me?

So, I get an email from a reader asking my opinion on the follow situation. I told her I would bring it over here for her to read the responses for herself.

Wanna hear it? Here it go.

Well her significant other has a child from a previous relationship. The man is looking to purchase a pretty costly electronic device for the child for Christmas. Cause you’re nosy and want to know what it is…It has an apple on it. Moving on.

She is not agreeing to such because she thinks the device is more suited for an adult and thinks that the child’s mother will gain more benefit from the gift than the child will. The SO’s argument is it’s his child and he wants to buy it and doesn’t care if the mother uses it and thinks she is being messy and that her concerns are not relevant. Welp, there you have it.

Your thoughts? *vanishes*


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  • Reply
    November 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    No matter what her concerns are important and valid. Saying they aren’t is a bunch of billshit.

    Now I think that if he wants to get said apple product for his child then that is his choice. I don’t think I’d have much of an issue with that. I wouldn’t care of the childs mother used it more than the child. It kinda just is what it is and you need to choose your battles wisely. However, I wouldn’t let expensive gifts become a habit. I’d tell “the child” that he/she can’t ask me for anything that expensive ever again and will have to remain on their best behavior or you will take it back. I’m just saying if the gift is to be given there also needs to be some sort of ground rules.

    thats my 2cent
    Krissy recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Sassy

    • Reply
      December 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm

      …and some! You make a good point about the expensive gifts. I didn’t even consider that part of it.

  • Reply
    Mrs. Pancakes
    November 30, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    Congrats on the award lady! In regards to the other…I would hope they can work together to decide how and what the best way the child can use the gift. This is hard though but I hope they can work it out…it’s not about neither of the parents…the focus should be on the child and what’s best for the child!

    • Reply
      December 1, 2011 at 1:43 pm

      That should always be the concern, however alot of times the children fall by the wayside in these situations.

  • Reply
    Melisa - Mommy This and That
    November 30, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Would a similar item that isn’t Apple brand be acceptable? Meaning did the mother of the child specifically ask for the Apple product or is that what Dad wants to buy? I agree with what someone above said about letting child know expensive gifts will not be the norm. Unlike everyone else…I would have an issue with the mother using the item more than the child. Why does the Dad feel so strongly about buying this particular item? That’s really the issue, IMO.
    Melisa – Mommy This and That recently posted..Miss Me?

  • Reply
    Dr. Reginia
    November 30, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    No ma’am.

    His tone and cavalier attitude wouldn’t work for me one bit. In short, he dismissed her opinion as if it had no merit. RED FLAG.

    Poor use of money. RED FLAG

    Dismissive attitudes don’t work for me at all. It’s total disrespect. Secondly, I couldn’t ever consider serious, casually, or FWB with anyone who don’t manage money well.

    I have a special word for people who over do it for holidays and that’s __________(insert any bad word here).
    Dr. Reginia recently posted..Ring Around the Collar

    • Reply
      December 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm

      “Dismissive Attitude”….exactly. You don’t have to agree with what I’m saying but please don’t brush it off as if it doesn’t matter.

  • Reply
    November 30, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    I don’t see an issue with the Dad buying said Apple product for the child. Reason being: that’s his child. If he’s buying the gift for the child but the mother uses it more than the child, so what. He know and you know that he bought the gift for the child. Pick your battles wisely.
    Rhonda recently posted..All I Want For Christmas….

    • Reply
      December 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm


  • Reply
    Nerd Girl
    December 1, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    If he can afford it and the purchase is not taking away from their household necessities (making assumptions here) I think she should leave it alone and let him buy the Apple. Whether or not the child’s mother will use it is really irrelevant.

    If they’re married, of course they should discuss it, but I can’t lie – I’d be mighty pissed if anyone told me I couldn’t buy something for my child and their only objection was because an ex might use it. She knew he had an ex and a child when she got involved with him. Package deal.
    Nerd Girl recently posted..Random All Up and Through This Joint

    • Reply
      December 1, 2011 at 1:47 pm

      So you make another valid point. Wifey knew when she married this would be the sort of things she would be dealing with. If she can’t take it then move on. Valid.point.

  • Reply
    December 1, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    Congrats on the award. The only thing I will say is that it’s his child I would suggest he buy another tablet but at the end of the day like another commenter said she knew what she was getting into when she married a man who had another child.
    kita recently posted..The right kinda Chicken

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