Unlikely Martha
Me Rant Soapbox

No Explanation Needed

I tell you one thing that really makes me angry is when I tell people that I don’t work and they come back with the saying…”Must be Nice” with a hint of sarcasm. See, the problem with this is people always look at outward appearances never considering the struggles one might have overcome to be in the place they are now.

Life has dealt everyone last one of us some blows. For some harsher than others but nonetheless we can uniformly agree that struggle escapes no one. In the past I have found myself feeling bad that for once in my life I’m in a good place. An excellent place. A place I thought I would never see as life seemed to beat my arse for what seemed like an eternity but was more like 3 years. Ailing mother, young child, MBA student, struggling marriage..all hats that I wore during this rough period in my life. I never thought things would get better. But they did, I just remember repeating to myself…trouble don’t last always, and holding on to an encouraging word told to me that said “God ALWAYS comes to see about His children… Trust me He does.

Sooo when people come to me with the “It must be nice” I respond, yes its nice to sleep on a pillowtop after sleeping on two twin mattresses pushed together on the floor for two years or,  it’s nice to drive a reliable air conditioned car after driving a car that you had to bucket puddles of water out of when it rained or you had to constantly worry about making it home without breaking down on the side of the road with a small child. Nobody don’t see them struggles though.

Patience, faith and strength got me where I am now and I’m really thinking I don’t owe anybody any kind of explanation regarding where I am in life or how I got here. I paid my dues. So the next time I get a response of that type I think I am just going to say, yes it is. Its real niiiiiiiiiice here in my happy place.

Excuse my rant. *steps off soapbox* *drops mic* *curtsies* *blows kisses* *pageant waves* *skips and whistles* *throws deuces and says Peeeaaaaace in my Gina from Martin voice*


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  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 8:29 am

    I feel the frustration in this post and I completely understand. I feel the same way and I’m tired of hearing it too. People don’t know your struggles and what it took for you to get to where you are. Even now people think I have it all good and act like I just sit around and do nothing, not knowing my struggles or the sacrifices I’m making. As long as you know where you came from to get to where you are, what they say don’t matter. I’m sure you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished and overcame and those trials only made you stronger.
    Kim recently posted..My Happiness

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

    I love your story! Most people do not know your story – and just ASSUME that you have a perfect world. I can relate. When you overcome your obstacles, some people can’t be happy for them. Just know that it’s them – NOT YOU! Girl, keep on shining!

  • Reply
    Baby Shopaholic
    October 3, 2011 at 10:48 am


    Love your ending!
    Baby Shopaholic recently posted..Monday Mingle!

  • Reply
    Optimistic Mom
    October 3, 2011 at 11:19 am

    I get that “must be nice” too! And as I sit here it just almost brings me to tears because nobody knows the journey that got me to a place where I can smile.

    I love your follow up response!! xo
    Optimistic Mom recently posted..Breastfeeding 101 Don’t sweat the little things

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 11:31 am

    I have been following your blog for sometime now and read a lot of your post, I understand where you are coming from, you went through a lot of tough times to get to where you are and some people only see the good times and never saw you when you went through tough times.

    Just ignore them, yeah you are living the good life now, enjoy it and don’t think twice about them because you worked for it.

    Stay blessed always and keep shining strong.
    Destiny recently posted..October is here and guess who’s smiling? I love this pictures taken this morning after service..love fall breeze!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Mimi, as always, I appreciate your honesty and brilliance! You are absolutely right on every point. You owe no one any explanations or apologies for your blessings. I feel like singing: “You don’t know what He’s done for me, gave me for the victory….” 🙂
    Amber recently posted..My Latest Blog Obession: Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    My thoughts exactly. I used to get that response from some of my family and friends. I just started telling them to mind their own business. We all got to the different parts of lives because of what went through. Life isn’t easy for anybody. And people need to stop judging and trying to rain on other people’s parade.

    If those people want to be a stay at home parent, then they need to do what they need to do to get there. But please be warned that staying at home is not as glamorous at it looks on tv. This is the real world with no smoke and no mirrors.
    YUMMommy recently posted..It’s My Anniversary

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Everyone struggles some people talk about it some people keep it to themselves. I don’t think you owe anyone any explanation of what you go through to get to where you are. You worked hard to get to where you are and nothing is wrong with that their will always be haters and people who envy you no matter if you are poor or rich. As long as you are happy no one else matters.
    kita recently posted..Monday Madness

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    Amen, Amen and Amen!!! Always very well said!!!!
    Chellany recently posted..Motivational Monday!!!!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Oh, honey, I needed this! I’m struggling with a lot of different avenues and a loooot of barriers to my choices, and I want to believe that whatever happens, it opens a PATH to where I SHOULD be.
    StephanieinSuburbia recently posted..Oh, The Shame or How I Failed as a Toddler Parent Part #342

  • Reply
    Cam - Bibs & Baubles
    October 4, 2011 at 11:31 am

    *applause* you’re right, about all of it. people tend to just assume they know your story when they really have no idea. enjoy every bit of your life. you’ve earned it. LOVED the ending! 🙂
    Cam – Bibs & Baubles recently posted..Enter the Wu

  • Reply
    Melisa - Mommy This and That
    October 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    My favorite response? It sure is. No one should you make feel bad for finally being in a good place or are they owed an explanation!
    Melisa – Mommy This and That recently posted..I Am…

  • Reply
    Roses daughter
    October 4, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!*waving hands in the air*

  • Reply
    October 5, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Thank you for writing this post, and I love the ending. So many people just don’t get that even though you stay at home, there are so many things that are on your plate still. Some people just don’t get it. People I’ve encounter just think I sit around and watch TV all day. Excuse me?! I’m lucky if I can get a cup a tea and drink it while it’s warm.
    KalleyC recently posted..Defining Me from Within

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