Unlikely Martha
Tia and Tamera Mowry
Life Mompreneur Parenting Sanity

The Do it All/Have it All Mom Struggle

*Today’s post is sponsored by The Style Network*

If I had a penny, or even half of a penny for every post that I’ve encountered on the blogosphere talking about how Moms and women in general feel about juggling everything from families and careers to being a SAHM and finding time for oneself I would be a rich lady. Very rich.

We see the balancing act daily in our real lives and even on television. Tia and Tamera on The Style Network epitomizes the struggle of trying to be a Mom while juggling career and entrepreneurship dreams. Tia and Tamera are back for season 3 on The Style Network and from the looks of it they are all about finding balance. Take a peek at a clip for the upcoming season! The new season debuts on Sunday, July 14 at 8/7C on Style.

Tia and Tamera Mowry

If you could stand to win $2000 swing by Tia and Tamera’s Style Network Page for information on how to enter their Instagram “Who Is Your &(And)?” contest which requires you to take a photo with your favorite person and tag Tia and Tamera on Instagram. Click the link for detailed instructions. Also be sure to follow The Style Network on Instagram.

When it comes to finding balance my opinion of having it all is quite different and I suppose it is attributed to the fact that I’ve worked, and wanted this amazing career and hit the glass ceiling very early on. Hit my head so hard forget climbing back down the ladder I just fell from the top rung and was left splatted  and laid out cold on the floor. I woke up dazed and confused wondering why I was at the bottom when it took so long to get to the top and I had sacrificed time with my family and most importantly my happiness.

When I finally peeled myself off of the linoleum I got up with the help of some smelling salts and went soul searching and I found that indeed while there are things that I want, there are external factors that I can’t control. When I realized I could only control my reactions to those factors I became a very happy person. I choose to see the good in everything and everybody until I am proven wrong. I set goals and I plan out the road maps to get to them  as reasonably as I can.

See I think people struggle with this because they are trying to go against the grain of what is natural. What is natural is different for everybody but for ME I’ve learned the needs of my family trump everything and I live my life accordingly. I’m not always the best mother and wife but at this point in my life having it all is making sure they are happy, and second comes growing a successful career working from home. My priorities are as such and in that order. When I feel stressed I go back to what’s most important and I work everything else around that.

Finding balance hasn’t been easy and from day to day I feel like I’m dangling over the Grand Canyon by my puny arms but I start over fresh daily. Looking at what I did right and what I did wrong and moving forward. I demand certain things when it comes to making time for myself and I will act a fool if folks don’t cooperate so they know first hand about happy Mommy/Wife makes for a happy life.

If I had to offer any suggestions on “finding balance” I would say from experience:

  • Make self care a priority, make time for yourself.
  • If you don’t feel like doing it. Don’t do it. If folks won’t starve, be dirty, or hurt themselves it can wait.
  • Give it your best, that is all you can do.
  • Don’t let other people’s goals drive you.

Are you a fan of Tia and Tamera? How do you find balance? Or are you all like what balance?!

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  • Reply
    July 10, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Great post. And yes and as a wife/mom, full time employee and trying-to-be an entreprenuer it can get HARD. Because wife and mom has so much to it in itself.
    But such is life. Like you said, get the the next day and try it all over again. As long as I do my best, make sure my family is happy and don’t hurt anyone in the process. I am A-OK!
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  • Reply
    July 10, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    Great post. I discuss this regularly with my mommy friends. And the reality is (in my opinion) that having balance is a myth. There’s no such thing, but we don’t have a better word for it, so we call it finding balance. The truth is it comes down to what your priorities are. Whatever we deem most important, is what we give our time to. I have a family, two jobs, and two blogs. I’m BUSY! But I work diligently to place things in order of how much I value them, as opposed to finding a way to do them all concurrently. That’s what works for me!
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  • Reply
    July 10, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    Yess, I learned all about so call “balance” the hard way in the last few months. It took me until just recently to realize that if I didn’t clean that kitchen before going to bed everynight, that the world didn’t end. That if that load of laundry sat there while I read a book, it was OK. That if Pookah ate fish sticks three nights in a row, he was OK. It’s a learning process. I’ve leanred to speak up for myself, and I’m learning that as long as I do my best, my best is indeed good enough.

  • Reply
    betzy carmona
    July 10, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    I really like how you emphasize how even tv series show the struggle of women 🙂
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  • Reply
    July 10, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    I think it is possible to have it all but maybe not all at once. And that is the balance for me. It’s knowing that some days I’m better at working than my home duties. But I’ve learned not to beat myself up because at the end of the day I’m doing my best. I’m glad the girls are back for a new season!
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  • Reply
    July 10, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    I agree with Yummommy you can have it all but maybe not at the same time you have to pick and choose what’s most important at whatever point in your life you are at. I have been missing their show for some reason Direct Tv say I don’t get that channel I am about to call right now to find out why
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  • Reply
    Mrs. Delightful
    July 11, 2013 at 7:33 am

    I’m a fan of Tia and Tamera but never watched their show (I didn’t even know they had a show)… it looks like it is a pretty good from the clip.

  • Reply
    Mrs. Pancakes
    July 11, 2013 at 8:49 am

    I heard something one time that made complete sense to me….that sometimes one area is going to suffer when you are giving attention to another area…balance is definitely difficult to achieve because no matter how balanced i think everything is…one part of the scale is always tipped to one side. at least i recognize this and can make changes when i see it. i love tia and tamera!
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  • Reply
    July 11, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    This is a constant struggle. It is a relief that so many other people are just trying to figure it out too!
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  • Reply
    G K
    July 12, 2013 at 11:21 am

    I love posts like these and I love seeing everyone’s responses. I love how we all see “balance” differently and all have learned that balance INCLUDES shortcomings.

    I think all women have this amazing strength. But once you add in kids, that’s when the true SuperWoman comes out. It’s amazing the things we do for our families – whether it be balancing a career with family life or choosing family life altogether. And these days, there’s this gray area between the two of those! All three come with great challenges that women conquer over and over in our own ways.

    Two words: Women Rock.

    (And sorry if I sound sexist. Men just don’t have the same challenges. They can choose to focus on their career MOST of the time, and never be judged. It’s just the way our society is…)
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