Living

The uncanny way women subconsciously add excuse maker to their list of duties is remarkable. I’m pretty sure it comes with the territory of donning the cape that is being a career woman and/or wife, mother, sister, friend, homemaker, cook, etc……………………………………………………………………………

We all know that one that will say she’ll be there with bells on and won’t….cause something or the other about kids and most frequently you will be notified at the last minute.

As a mother I totally get it. Most days I would really and truly like to stay in my home but as I strive to remind myself that before the whirlwind and blessings of life  labeled me a mother, wife and a plethora of  other grown up things I was a  person who spent years doing things that brought me joy and quite frankly I am still that girl that loves a good time, a good laugh until tears roll out of my eyes,  a ratchet beat, dressing up and a strong martini.

I owe it to myself to still find the time to do the things that once brought me joy all while making a home for my family. My family is indeed at the top of my priority list, however 2016 is the year that I attempt to bring in balance when it comes to spending time with my good friends.

The much needed balance that says my family can’t always be the reason why I can’t get out once in awhile to connect with my girlfriends. I have committed to spending at least one night out a month to catch up with my girls…in person.

Last night was our first night out. We went to the comedy club and because we are getting old we opted for the early show.

We were in and out by 10 and when I was like are we really that old that we are heading home at 10? I got a resounding yes. *insert sad face emoji* Back to the burbs for me

Spending time with people you love outside of your family is important in my eyes. I don’t care if you are gathered in a prayer circle, drinking tea, quilting, dancing till your feet hurt or having dinner in a quaint restaurant with your favorite girls, make it happen. If you have to plan weeks in advance, get permission from your husband or just get dressed and walk out the door the need  to connect with our friends is real and needed.

Yes, I know the whole I said yes but my bed is calling me just a few hours before call time struggle is real. Get up and GO!

Your kids, your husband, your S.O., the dog, the dishes, the laundry…..all of that will be there when you get back and you’ll be better for it.

When was the last time you spent time with your girls?

We all have seen those IG pages, perfectly curated memoirs of fab moms dressed to the nines with million dollar strollers, coiffed hair and perfect meals. Tens of thousands of followers stroll their timelines daily taking in these perfect images, some taking them for face value and others crying in their coffee at the mere fact that their IG page would be littered with poorly lit photos of their homes in disarray as they question, “how does *insert perfect IG feed name here* do it?

” I mean, she has a thousand kids and still manages to look put together and I have one and can’t seem to get my life, let alone head out to Target with a beat face.”

Sometimes I just want to disconnect from the internet, the very internet that has introduced me to so many amazing and powerful women. The internet that over the past 7 years has allowed me to subconsciously document my feelings and life for memories that years from now would have been a distant memory.

The curated reality of the internet will get you if you let it, especially when it comes to motherhood.

I follow sites for nothing more than inspiration and ideas, and can easily decipher reality from what you want me to see.  My concern is for those mothers who are struggling with just trying to get the basics together and  feel like they keep dropping the apples because as a mother they don’t look as put together, or their clothing isn’t as expensive, or their business isn’t thriving or their Starbucks would be photographed in front of the steering wheel of a non luxury vehicle.

If motherhood is a community, then I think it is time that real moments start out numbering the curated ones. We all love a pretty photo, but as an influencer I have started to ask myself what good am I putting out into this community for that mother trying to find her way. I fully understand every woman and mother has her own free will to think and perceive things as she pleases but the caring nature in me wants to see that mom know she is winning in her sweatpants and messed up brows. If only  a  suggestion for a quick meal or a Dollar Tree hack to keep her home together I don’t want to feel untouchable in this motherhood space.  I don’t want y’all to come look at me be pretty and tell me  how hard I slay, I want this online space on the internet to be a source of inspiration and connectable moments that we all experience in life in the realm of parenting, fashion, beauty, home and life.

I want to feel real. The thought that someone could look at my online personality and think that I’m perfect or have a perfect life makes me want to barf. Have you seen my Snapchat and the mess of my life that I document there?

I’ll admit. Some of us really do have things a little more together than others, and are genuinely happy but the reality is likely it hasn’t always been that way, and while we may be strong in one area, we are undoubtedly weak in others.

*talking to myself here*

Take what makes sense to you from this curated community of glam motherhood and don’t feel bad about your reality not being theirs or the one they want you to believe in.  We are all just works in progress.

Some a little more curated than others.

As you were.

Photo credit: It’s Really Kita