I pride myself on keeping it real around here. Sprinkled in with a few sponsored posts here and there, I think you can always count on me being truthful and open ’round these parts I would like to think we are community of virtual friends although some of you I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting through comments but I still consider you my virtual family.
I said all of that to say don’t come for me too hard on this post cause we’re friends. I just need some clarification and I know I will get the gamut of unbiased opinion by posting this issue here.
Child Support in the Summer. I’m confused…and let me clarify I’m talking about the support that is never late, benefits carried etc…
If the non custodial parent is paying child support all year, why is there a need to provide full support in the summer. I am not on the give nothing bandwagon but I’m all about the half. See my thought process is if the custodial parent isn’t having to provide food, use gas to transport child, along with other small expenses outside of a contribution to the household bills why is this necessary? The non custodial parent is now responsible for feeding, clothing, and childcare/camp over the summer. This can be in excess of an additional $500 a month. Does no one care that the non custodial parent has bills to pay?
I’ve concocted a few reasons. I may be dead on or dead off. I’m sure you all will let me know. Here goes
- The support sent isn’t enough in the first place, and the little extra over the summer provides a cushion.
- Funds are needed to maintain a child’s spot at a daycare facility.
- The child support is used to pay the bills and the custodial parent’s income is used for miscellaneous expenses.
Can you help me? I have questions. Do you have insight or answers?
27 Comments
Jehancancook
June 5, 2013 at 7:53 amI think the responsibility of supporting the child falls on both parents year round. A child still eats, is involved in other activities besides school and still needs to clothed during. Having said that, if the child spends the summer with the non custodial parent I believe that the other parent should now pay support and shouldn’t receive a dime. Now do I think that one parent should pay entirely for expenses such as summer camp? Nope…after all its the responsibility of both parents. I do feel at times the custodial parent can take advantage and expect child support to cover everything without having to reach into their pocket and that’s definitely unfair.
Tia
June 5, 2013 at 9:27 amI agree with this comment. During the summer if the child goes to the non custodial parent’s house I think support should be stopped and large expenses should be split/shared. I understand if there are fees that need to be paid to hold a spot in daycare but other than that I don’t understand why you would send support if the child is in your home. Seems like you’d need the child support at that point. Then again, like you said some parents probably don’t get the support they need regularly during the year and they may use the Summer for a little cushion.
Krissy
June 5, 2013 at 11:22 amTo me, this is a discussion that needs to be had between the parents of the child. It also should depend on whether or not child support is ordered by the court or if it is just paid willingly and the amount paid was determined by the 2 parties. If the court sets an amount and that amount is taken out of the income automatically then leave it alone. If the amount is something agreed upon and paid willingly then some changes can be made if they both agree to it.
My dad paid child support for 18yrs for both my brother and sister to his ex wife and he didn’t complain one bit. they spent every summer with us all summer and every other weekend. He just felt since he wasn’t with them all the time in the house that the least he could do was pay the support. I think looking at it that way made/makes a lot of sense.
Mimi
June 5, 2013 at 2:42 pmI kind of see it that way, but then paying for time not spent seems wrong in a sense. I don’t know the whole situation can get down right confusing. However, when it comes to dollars and cents I just think it is unfair to require someone to pay child support and then provide additional monies when they have the child. Some people may have it like that but for those that don’t that is a huge financial strain.
Krissy
June 7, 2013 at 2:00 pmI can understand the financial strain. I think child support is necessary for many reasons but in a sense in some cases I think its a punishment for the noncustodial parent for not being in the home with the child. I know my thinking is weird but that’s how I feel sometimes. Especially when the money is in excess of what you actually need for that child. But that’s another story for another time lol
Legally Chocolat
June 5, 2013 at 11:33 amFrom a legal standpoint they determine support based on the amount of time per year and usually modifications of that are only made if the child resides in the home six or more consecutive months before any financial adjustments are made. Pretty sure it’s the same standard in Georgia like it is here in TX but I would have to ask my friend who practices law out there. The courts think it would cause too much confusion and or other issues with the child’s “best interest” for things to ping ping back and forth like that if they only go places for certain amounts of time not adding up to half the year.
But removing my attorney hat I would think that if the child is there all summer consistently for more than just a week visit that payments should cease but you already know the legislature set rules up to punish folks and to detour certain behavior that they deem immoral …..but that’s just my thoughts & personal (not attorney related) opinion from handling those types of cases out here. I don’t deal with family law anymore. Too much drama for me!!!!
Mimi
June 5, 2013 at 2:39 pmI can’t imagine the drama that must come with family court. It just seems like sometimes things are set up in favor of the custodial parent and the non custodial is just a paycheck.
Baby Shopaholic
June 5, 2013 at 2:43 pmDon’t get me started! LOL! I don’t think you should have to pay for the summer. She needs the same stuff with y’all as she would at home and it cost money! I hate to say it but her trip may be cut short if that is the case : /
LaShawn
June 5, 2013 at 3:09 pmI think half of the question is this: is it court mandated or just a verbal agreement between the two parents? If it is court ordered child support, really, there is nothing to do but maybe go back to court and try to get it adjusted based on time spent at the non custodial parent’s house. But if it is a verbal agreement, then there needs to be a sit down discussion about this. Maybe expenses can be shared? Payments reduced? This is a tricky situation……
Krissy
June 7, 2013 at 2:02 pmyep! what you said! lol
Kirra family law
February 7, 2020 at 8:21 amAnything you say to a lawyer during a consultation will always be held in the strictest confidence. Even during a consultation, attorney-client privilege applies.
Mia
June 5, 2013 at 5:13 pmIn my opinion if the parent has the child/children 50% of that month then child support shouldn’t be paid. The support is for the children not for the parent to maintain their home, bills or their own personal care. Some women say “well I have to keep a home for them to come back to or I have to save this money as a cushion. When in reality, you have to maintain a home regardless and you won’t be saving the money. At the end of the summer after the Father has had the children all summer and paid the Mother child support, the Mother then ask if he will be helping get school supplies and school clothes. The Father replies ” I’ve paid child support for 2 children all summer that I had with me the money you received was for them so that is my portion for their school supplies/clothes etc.” The Mother replies ” I had to use that money to maintain their home and bills so they would have somewhere to live when they return.” You have to maintain a home regardless. If the non custodial parent has the children all summer why isn’t the other parent paying child support? Are they not reponsible for supporting the children in the summer?
Mimi
June 9, 2013 at 12:01 pmSo I do believe help maintaining the home is necessary within reason. I have problems when the custodial will go and buy a huge house and expect to have CS support that. If the custodial can afford the house with minimal help then fine but if you have a $2K mortgage for two people I’m baffled, or the custodial is driving a luxury car hollering about I have to drive them to this place and that.
I just see that so much, not in my situation but other people and I’m like whoa! Luxury is nice but if it can’t be upheld without CS then take it back to the basics!!
Thanks for reading!
Kenya
June 5, 2013 at 6:51 pmWow I truly appreciate seeing the responses here, as my son gears up to spend a month with a non-custodial parent who has requested to stop support during that month. Its nice to hear logic from someone other that the person I have relationship with.
I requested that support continue for the mere fact that the cost of raising a child does not end, when a child “visits” other parent. Yes of course things like food and summer camps are now responsibility of other parent but the TRUE costs of rasing child is still there. For example – my ex lives in a one bedroom home, because he has no child living there 11 months out of the year. I on the other hand, do not have the luxury of telling my landlord to give me a break since my son is gone. secondly, those size 13 shoes and $100 jeans are going with him. I would not dare send my child with an empty suitcase and say, yeah you buy all his clothes for a month. Also school tuition, fees, books, etc are all due during the summer and I have to pay this no matter where my son is.
After reading your responses I think I am more willing to compromise, but in reality its no FREE month for the custodial parent!!
Mimi
June 9, 2013 at 11:58 amI totally understand! However, in my opinion it seems that the custodial parent is looking for compensation for their time of being the sole parent. No parent gets a free month, custodial or not. If it’s not time its money…well for the ones that pay child support. In our situation when it has come up that, Oh I do everything with no help, his response has been send her to live here *crickets* I am so literal so when it comes to living expenses I feel like the difference between a one bedroom and two bedroom should be the amount that is taken from child support. Although I am married, there have been times when my children had to go without to take care of CS obligations. However, the general consensus is it’s okay because my children have both parents. I just think there is a huge misunderstanding sometimes in these situations. I like that you said you could see other opinions.
You have brought up another topic! I think I will blog about it. I can’t get it out right now without totally rambling so I have to give it some thought. I think I will bring these issues here every now and then so both sides can see where the other is coming from. Maybe it will help in some way.
Thanks for reading!
Miesha
June 5, 2013 at 8:06 pmComing from a custodial parent that has never received child support worth speaking of, I’ve always maintained my household and my two girls’ expenses regardless of what their dad does or doesn’t give me. If their father consistently paid child support, I would definitely compromise and allow that money to pay for summer activities (daycamp, summer clothes, etc). I don’t use the whopping $213 I receive per month from disability (their dad says he’s disabled) and back child support to support my household. My paycheck covers that, it’s directly for my kids. Just my two cents!
Carla
June 6, 2013 at 10:55 pmI can relate to this comment. I receive absolutely no help from my son’s father and at this point, I’m so used to doing everything for him, I don’t look for it. Now mind you, child support is underway, but for the past four years, I haven’t received anything. Now, when an amount is set, whether my son’s father decides to pay or not, the plan is to not be affected by his non-payment. But in a case where the father is active in his child’s life, I think something should be done about that. I think the whole child support system news to be revamped. There are two many who are getting over and are just doing it out of spite.
I can go on, but I need to simmer down and breathe for a minute. -_-
Krissy
June 7, 2013 at 2:07 pmI’m with the both of you. I support my child solely but if I had someone spending me child support payments every month I would consider a compromise for months my child is away. But since that’s not the case. . .
Kita
June 5, 2013 at 11:59 pmComing from a household where my dad had to pay child support for 18 years my mom did not give him a break even if I was not with her during the summer. She took that “summer money” and put it towards my school clothes and shoes for the next year also paying for upcoming school activities in advance. She was not one that took the money and spent it on her she actually put the money on me. Its a tricky situation either way because I can see both sides of the coin.
Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady
June 6, 2013 at 2:15 amWow Mimi, first post on any blog where I read every single comment. This was a very thought provoking topic.
I personally don’t think a parent that has the child for the summer needs to pay the custodial parent during the summertime unless the noncustodial parent was significantly better off financially and provided a certain monetary amount bc of a standard they wanted their children raised in. That standard being beyond the means of the custodial parent.
I have no experience one way or another, just my thoughts.
Mimi
June 9, 2013 at 11:50 amIt is so difficult. I think sometimes personal feelings get intertwined with money and that is really hard not to do in these situations.
Candace
June 6, 2013 at 8:45 amGirl I wish I even had this problem lol but I think (as tedious as it is) if it is a court ordered support maybe it should be taken back to court for joint custody that way you guys have her and responsible for her for half the year and her mother pay some sort of support and while she’s with her mother his support kicks in. I woul hate for you to lose full summers with her but I can’t imagine to strain on the pockets.
Mimi
June 9, 2013 at 11:49 amSee. I have to hit you on the private to get the scoop.. I can’t even right here.
YUMMommy
June 7, 2013 at 11:40 pmI think that payments should at least be cut in half. When I was a single mom, my husband and I split all expenses equally. And I didn’t money for time when my daughter wasn’t with me. I understood that he needed that money to cover gas because we lived in different states and he had to feed her and buy diapers, etc. Maybe in exchange for no child support during the summer, the paying parent can responsible for sending the child back with school supplies and a new school wardrobe?
JL
September 22, 2016 at 10:03 pmChild support is responsibility of both parents. It’s actually a complex issue. It’s not just the financial thing that could have considered but also the care you could give to your child. If you’re not the custodial parent, expect that you’ll pay more.
Rifat
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divorce lawyers
January 15, 2020 at 12:23 pmWhen two parents can agree on the child’s needs and they respect each others perspectives, they are often able to come to an arrangement with regard to custody, visitation, and child support.