Because I Said So

The tag line for my blog reads “The Rants and Raves of a Fab Mom”. Well the other day after the bagger at the grocery store very confidently referred to me as Ma’am I took a quick mental inventory of why he would think I was a Ma’am because in my thoughts at that moment there was nothing “fab” about being a Ma’am. So forgetting that I was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that were a tad too short, some leaned over gold flats, a huge ketchup stain on my shirt courtesy of my son,  two strand twists that were all twisted out and needed to be redone days ago, and the dead giveaway that I was pushing two children in a buggy I was appalled. I mean I am fab…right? *nod your head and look straight ahead*

Because I could not leave well enough alone, I just had to corner the young gentleman and ask him just how old did he think I was. Word to the wise, NEVER ask a teenager a question like this..NEVER. He responds with a slight grin, “I don’t know I guess about 40”. *dead* I can’t. At this point, the cashier has finished ringing up my groceries and we are all set to go. I quietly disclose to him that I am 32 like he cared but it gave me some satisfaction in the matter. That’ll show him .

Still on this hours later I started thinking what are the credentials that I possess *in my head* that qualifies me as being fab. Sure I’m more of a connoisseur of Yo Gabba Gabba than the latest fashions to walk the runways of Spring fashion week, nonetheless I would like to think I’ve still got it…a teeny bit. I’ve never been one to need validation..until this day. So I decided to come up with MY own reasons. Wanna hear it? Here it go

I’m Fab Because:

As I type this my nails are gold and sparkly

I listen to Lil Wayne at obscenely loud levels…no, not with the kids in the car. Okay, sometimes.

I’ve been to the club in the last year, not considering the fact that I complained about the loud music the.entire.time

I know how to Dougie..not a whole lot of consolation on this one seeing that Wolf Blitzer did it.

I still wear high platform heels..who cares that my knees hurt for days after

I paint my fingernails weekly

I manage to keep my sanity while chasing behind a budding 11 month old walker and a motor mouth 5 year old ALL DAY LONG

I wear sunglasses whilst driving the Milf mobile, and still get stares at the stop light

I get out of the house alone often and have drinks or dinner with my BFFs

I’m fab because I SAID SO!!

Fab is the shortened version of the word Fabulous which is defined as:

–adjective:Almost impossible to believe;incredible. Exceptionally good or unusual; marvelous; superb

That sounds about riiight.So now that we have the official definition, and I’m quite sure that all of you possess a trait qualifies you as being fab..as if it really matters to anyone else but you.  Do share something special about yourself that “ups” your FAB quotient. I mean can you juggle bananas. Can you cook, fold clothes, talk on the phone and check homework simultaneously..What is it?