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Life Rant Soapbox

{Internet Envy} YOUR Perception is YOUR Reality

If you’ve perused the internets for a while you’ve come across that person who just seems to have it all together. They cook every night, they create shopping lists and everything they’ve ever tried from Pinterest turns out perfect, while the rest of us gasp in awe and  question ourselves on just how does she do it.

I assure you sometimes she does have it all together and sometimes she just wants you to think she does and that is fine with me. See, I’ve lived long enough to know that a tidy kitchen or a perfect ponytail on the worst day will never pull the wool over my eyes when it comes to the fact that WE all have our issues and problems. If a person wishes to share the good, I appreciate that. I have enough problems in my life than to spend my precious minutes reading about yours over and over and over again.

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I’m just a little sick and tired of reading posts and statuses where people are whining and accusing people of trying to perpetuate a perfect life on social media.  If what I read is correct unless a person is continuously complaining or sharing every bad moment of their life they are somehow perpetrating a life of joy and happiness? I can not with that. I need answers.

How I see it is, in this age of over sharing, blogging, tweeting, Instagramming etc. if a person is sharing the highlight of their day and you take that into they are faking and shaking, they may be but the reality is they shared a moment of their life and the issue lies on the outsider looking in. Unless said person created a caption that said “I have a perfect life” any illusions of grandeur fall solely on the person observing. I won’t lie and say I haven’t sucked my teeth or unfollowed a few for just doing the absolute most, as there is a thin line between sharing and showing out but they have the right, and I have use of my unfollow button.

be curious

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In all seriousness, I would love to see moms and women in general stop comparing themselves in a negative manner to women they come across on the internet. Every woman whose blog I come across I consider myself on even ground with her as I wish all women could. I am enjoying crafting more and more, as I see women who are crafty on their blogs I read and try to learn. I see their gifts as my own motivation. I don’t want to be her, I just want a Cricut so I can make my child’s birthday invitations.

I suppose the start would be making sure that we are confident in ourselves, so that what somebody is doing or saying on the internet is not making us feel any less about our own lives when we don’t actually know her outside of the confines of a typed web address, well designed blog space, and a plethora of Instagram collages.

Truth of the matter is her house just might be that tidy and her husband may just be that great, but do you know how long her walk was, and if you’ve read the poem “Footprints” you may understand that at some point she may have been carried.

Use other people as motivation. You’ll never know their true journey but know they had one, and for the love of all things shiny and pretty and perfect….Stay in your lane.

This was a rant.

Have you ever felt envious of someone you’ve come across on the internet? Is the internet helping or hindering us on our personal journeys to happiness? Be honest.

 

 

 

 

Life Weekend

Weekend Shenanigans

Happy Monday!

This weekend was rather busy. A sick child derailed my plans to complete a service project for Habitat for Humanity with my Sorors on Monday. Poor thing, he got struck with the infamous stomach virus that has made its way around. I thought we were in the clear but apparently not.

Friday evening my SIL came in town with her besties to look for a wedding dress. They ventured down to Bridals by Lori as in “Say Yes to the Dress.” Unfortunately I was unable to attend because I had already committed to helping out with a fundraiser my chapter was having for our Debutantes. She found her dress and it is GORGEOUS and I had a great time with my line sisters.

Dream Pearls

Saturday evening I was scheduled to attend some events but my husband needed to use the car and I was just plain tired. At some point everyone laid down for a nap and I awoke while they were still sleeping. I used that very RARE and precious time to spend some time alone comfy on my couch watching a Cosby Show Marathon. Sometimes it truly is the small things. It only lasted about 2 hours but it felt like an eternity.

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Sunday, I woke up early and placed some dinner in the crock pot. My SIL and her besties were headed out again to find bridesmaids dresses. My SIL is one of those people that managed to master the makeup videos on YouTube and while she was “beating” her own face I asked for a slight “beat” and she obliged.

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My Chapter was hosting a Sisterly Relations activity at No Mas Cantina, a local Mexican restaurant downtown for some fellowship and food. After I was all made up I headed out to No Mas. I looooooove my Line Sisters. WE take advantage of all opportunities to take photos!

Dream Pearls

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Sunday evening, I made it home and relaxed, and had movie night in the theater with my SIL and her friends. Finally watched The Butler. What an awesome movie.

So, that was my weekend. Did you make Monday a “day off” or a “day on?” How was your weekend? Has that nasty virus found its way to your house?

 

Life Relationships Sanity

Closed Doors?

I shall be a little in my feelings today. No pretty pictures just an emotion and epiphany that came over me last week about allowing people into your space read opening and closing the doors to your peace of mind.

With much anxiety I made the decision to shut some people out of my life. Closing the doors on these friendships didn’t come from a place of malice but rather a need to be able to grow as I needed without snide comments or constantly feeling the need to explain my personal goals. At the time I needed people to “get it” I needed them to “get me” and unfortunately some people didn’t meet the challenge and as hard as it was I had to let go.

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In my letting go, I found myself in the company of magnificent women from the interwebs and real life who got it. They fed my need to continuously grow and thrive and strive for better. They understood that it’s truly not cool to be in the same place, doing the same things you did in your 20s that don’t contribute to long term financial, physical and spiritual sustainability.

As I find myself in a good space now. A space that needs no confirmation or support from anyone I contemplated reopening a few doors because I have a forgiving heart and the desire to love those in open who I have known for many years. These thoughts crossed my mind for a few days. I even wrestled with them. One day last week someone reached out to me. A person I don’t know and shared some information with me about a door I was going to attempt to reopen. Whether the information she shared with me was true or not, it was enough to bring that situation back to light (in my truth)  and let me know that at times it is okay to truly move forward and love people from a distance.

 

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As sad as it is, I am having these weird feelings of letting go again. The result this time since I’ve gotten myself and my circle together? I’ve found that it is quite okay to shut SOME doors, LEAVE them shut and even add a storm/burglar door to which I have no key.

I’m GOOD!

Have you reopened closed doors? How did that work for YOU? Do you believe in forgiving and forgetting and trusting again?

 

Life Me Milestones Mimi

Learn to Say H*ll NO and Other Habits to Adopt in 2014

I’m not much of a resolution girl but I have been in deep thought about new habits to adopt in 2014 to make my life easier, encourage personal growth and see the ideas in my head go from thought to manifestation.

I am by no means an expert, but as I created my list for the new year I thought I might share them with you!

NO

 

Just Say NO:  Assuming you aren’t into recreational drug use this “Just Say No” has not a thing to do with Reagan’s campaign but everything to do with managing YOUR time and maintaining YOUR sanity.

Saying no shouldn’t be as hard as it is, but some of us feel the need to be helpful when in reality when we refuse to say NO we are often times making life harder for ourselves. In the new year I’ve vowed to never answer someone right away if I can help it. I have decided to respond by saying I need to check my calendar to allow myself time to decide if taking on said task will actually be feasible for me to accomplish without too much disruption to my routine. I give you permission to add H*ll no as necessary so that said party knows its real and to come correct before asking you to do things they could surely do themselves.

Write it Down: You would think this one is self explanatory and obvious, however as a person who has left the bread and milk in the grocery store when they were the main items I went for….I think pencil and paper need to be my friend in the new year.

Keeping track of children’s schedules, room mom duties and bills my mind will play tricks on me. I’ve found lately that if I make lists of the things I need to do, things I need to buy and places I need to be my mind doesn’t seem as cluttered and I don’t feel AS flustered.  I’ve bribed myself into this new habit my purchasing a plethora of planners, journals, pencils and pens. Make these necessary evils pretty and you are more likely to make proper use of them.

Designers Guild

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Plan Tasks and Allocate Time: Again, in the past my important tasks were jumbled in my head along with where I might find an AKA sweatshirt and if not careful the latter would come before the necessary and I would be left at the end of the day SMH because the important tasks weren’t accomplished but I had my sweatshirt though. This is a true story.

I am now writing down my tasks daily and prioritizing them by importance and allocating a time frame in which each needs to be completed. All business related matters are handled first and everything else comes second. If I haven’t completed the task in the allotted time I move on to the next task and come back around to it after all important tasks have been touched. Of course this is up for revision depending on how important the task is. I am finding this to be beneficial in making sure I get everything done daily.

Accountability Partners: Birds of a feather flock together anyone? There is nothing worse than starting in the same place as someone and they make moves and you are left standing where you started. Use a little friendly competition and let accountability to a like minded person push you forward in 2014.

The key is finding that person that will politely READ you if you haven’t accomplished that goal and reported back within the specified time. I have found some accountability partners where I will be embarrassed and shamed if I didn’t at least have some sort of update to give them on my goal progress. Sometimes being accountable to ourselves isn’t enough. We need deadlines and sometimes we need positive people to help us enforce them.

Start It. Finish It: In the past I have been the master of starting a million things and finishing none of them. Call me Jemimah of all trades, master of none. I’m tired of not seeing things through to completion when I know I have the ability to finish them.

The key to this I believe is being realistic with oneself before starting on a journey. Anything is possible but the real question is do you have the passion to see it through. Answering those hard questions before starting may help with making sure completion becomes the ultimate goal. I’ve decided to sit down and take the time as well as consult with my accountability partners before setting off on anything new. Sometimes perspective will let us know the likelihood of us finishing something before we even start.

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Y’all know I’m no kind of expert on life but I’ve made enough mistakes and as I knock on 35 I have come to the conclusion that processes are not here to hurt us but to make us better. I’ll roll with it.

Have you had an epiphany on new habits to adopt that may help some of us? I implore you to share! #SharingIsCaring