If you’ve perused the internets for a while you’ve come across that person who just seems to have it all together. They cook every night, they create shopping lists and everything they’ve ever tried from Pinterest turns out perfect, while the rest of us gasp in awe and question ourselves on just how does she do it.
I assure you sometimes she does have it all together and sometimes she just wants you to think she does and that is fine with me. See, I’ve lived long enough to know that a tidy kitchen or a perfect ponytail on the worst day will never pull the wool over my eyes when it comes to the fact that WE all have our issues and problems. If a person wishes to share the good, I appreciate that. I have enough problems in my life than to spend my precious minutes reading about yours over and over and over again.
I’m just a little sick and tired of reading posts and statuses where people are whining and accusing people of trying to perpetuate a perfect life on social media. If what I read is correct unless a person is continuously complaining or sharing every bad moment of their life they are somehow perpetrating a life of joy and happiness? I can not with that. I need answers.
How I see it is, in this age of over sharing, blogging, tweeting, Instagramming etc. if a person is sharing the highlight of their day and you take that into they are faking and shaking, they may be but the reality is they shared a moment of their life and the issue lies on the outsider looking in. Unless said person created a caption that said “I have a perfect life” any illusions of grandeur fall solely on the person observing. I won’t lie and say I haven’t sucked my teeth or unfollowed a few for just doing the absolute most, as there is a thin line between sharing and showing out but they have the right, and I have use of my unfollow button.
In all seriousness, I would love to see moms and women in general stop comparing themselves in a negative manner to women they come across on the internet. Every woman whose blog I come across I consider myself on even ground with her as I wish all women could. I am enjoying crafting more and more, as I see women who are crafty on their blogs I read and try to learn. I see their gifts as my own motivation. I don’t want to be her, I just want a Cricut so I can make my child’s birthday invitations.
I suppose the start would be making sure that we are confident in ourselves, so that what somebody is doing or saying on the internet is not making us feel any less about our own lives when we don’t actually know her outside of the confines of a typed web address, well designed blog space, and a plethora of Instagram collages.
Truth of the matter is her house just might be that tidy and her husband may just be that great, but do you know how long her walk was, and if you’ve read the poem “Footprints” you may understand that at some point she may have been carried.
Use other people as motivation. You’ll never know their true journey but know they had one, and for the love of all things shiny and pretty and perfect….Stay in your lane.
This was a rant.
Have you ever felt envious of someone you’ve come across on the internet? Is the internet helping or hindering us on our personal journeys to happiness? Be honest.
LaShawnMay 14, 2014 at 10:31 pm
Comparison, is the thief of joy. A few years ago, I wondered if everyone but me had perfectly perfect lives. Why was no one sharing the good AND the bad? Then I found my tribe so to speak and figured out that life might not be perfect, but that there is nothing wrong with only showing perfect moments. I don’t envy anyone, because like you said, you don’t know their journey. Everything isn’t for everybody. If I don’t like it, I don’t read. If i ‘m bored with seeing perfect Pinterest post after perfect Pinterest post, then I unfollow. I’ve come to the point in my life where I’m like DO YOU. And if doing you only means showing us the good times, then so be it.
TeemsMay 14, 2014 at 10:53 pm
I think social media is exactly the two extremes (motivation and discouragement). Where I find balance is by taking breaks. Once I begin to feel insecurities, pressure, or frustration I step away because that means I have spent a little to much time worrying about what someone else is doing. It also helps me from oversharing myself. You know what…not everyone appreciates or utilizes the community aspect or social media…some are just spectators waiting for you to fall or be the hot topic of their discussion. Which brings me back to finding balance by remembering to focus more on bettering yourself instead.
Christina JonesMay 14, 2014 at 11:14 pm
I’d be a damned lie if I said I never saw something that i envied in someone’s life via social media. It happens all of the time! I see things all the time that make me a little jealous, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t make me bitter, which is a difference. I see people with stuff I want, it reminds me that one, if I work at it, I can probably have it too! And only really, really bitter people see someone sharing happy moments and think “oh, she’s trying to pretend to be perfect!” Orrrrr, maybe she just likes to be positive on social media? Maybe she just doesn’t want to join the rest of the complaining ass people, lol. I’ve definitely seen the same thing you’re talking about, and it always makes me roll my eyes. Let bitter stay bitter, and find their little bitter company. Stay positive chica!
Law_FalMay 14, 2014 at 11:34 pm
BrandiMay 15, 2014 at 1:00 pm
Seriously the best post ever!!!! You write so eloquently.
MJMay 15, 2014 at 3:28 pm
Thanks for saying this Mimi. Honestly, I love reading the joy filled, happy moments. I prefer that over the sad, hard or difficult although those post touch me as well. We as women just need to support one another and help each other if there is an opportunity.
KalleyCMay 16, 2014 at 10:34 am
Well said Mimi! We need to learn to support each other and not look to tear each other down. Envy over what someone is doing is really the killer of joy. There were a lot of things that I noticed as I interacted online and to be honest, like Teems, I find so much solace just by unplugging at times.
We all have a story and a for a lot of us, it’s not sunshine and roses. If a person chooses to dwell on the positive then that is their choice. To have a positive outlook on life, I think is pretty healthy, but we shouldn’t feel anything towards that person for that. And like you said, if they are (according to our perceptions) showing off–then it’s time to let go and unfollow.
Mrs. DelightfulMay 23, 2014 at 6:23 pm
Great post Mimi! At the end of the day I use social media as motivation. When I see someone posting pictures about dinner being made, the house clean, and they look flawless. That motivates me to stay on my “Grind” not to compare myself to them. But just as motivation to do better and be better in life. Like you prior stated we have no idea what there life is really like in reality and to be honest I prefer not to know…
K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommyMay 24, 2014 at 6:38 pm
I always to say each his/her own, especially when it comes to what they choose to share and not to share. Not everyone wants to document their struggle and that’s not being fake. We are all entitled to privacy and calling someone out for using that right in terms of what they want to put out on the internet is absurd. Realize that life is not always a whirlwind of downs and negativity 24/7.
Social media is definitely a curse and hindrance for some people. If you see something you want, work for it or hush. Turn that envy into motivation.
CarlaMay 28, 2014 at 10:46 am
OF course I’ve been envious before, but then I grew up. I realized how all that envy was blocking my own blessings and my ability to see how truly blessed I was. I’ve learned that we can’t appreciate our blessings if we’re constantly counting and questioning how other people received theirs.
Now of course, like you said, you have people that do the ABSOLUTE MOST of the MOSTEST. But see, to be blunt, what they eat don’t make me .. well.. you know.