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Marriage• Relationships• The Mr.

SEVEN

September 2nd marks seven years that the Mr. and I have been married. The road has been long, bumpy, narrow, wide, and non existent at times but I am happy to say that it is now paved with asphalt and we have truly reached that point in our marriage where I would like to believe that nothing can break us.

I rarely speak about the Mr. in this space because he is some what private, not to mention I have something with people who are always talking about how spectacular their significant other is. I always feel like they are trying to convince themselves instead of me. That’s another story for another day. Kind of like no one goes around saying how awesome wives and mothers are because its expected…

I digress.

Well, I came up with the ingenious idea to have the Mr. and myself list out 7 things we have learned during this journey that has contributed to the current state of happiness within our marriage.

Keep in mind we are not experts!

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Marriage• Parenting• Relationships

What You Won’t Do….

Listen. This post references *whispers* sex. If you are going to blush and giggle hit the red X and we’ll see you tomorrow.

I recently read an article somewhere about sexless marriages. Call me green but I really didn’t want to believe people did this. Oh, but they do. The numbers were astounding.

So here’s my question. What’s the point?

I understand there are a number of issues beyond one’s control that might contribute to a lack of intimacy between two people but outside of those reasons…*scratches head*

Women are the masters of intimidation and manipulation and I’m sure more than half of the population  have used said action or lack thereof as a reward and punishment system. Wrong.

I subscribe to the theory that what you won’t do…..

Not saying that all men cheat because their wives are nagging, raggedy messes, but I am saying those trying to dangle their special parts like a carrot might be doing themselves more harm than good.

The article went on to explain that the majority of the couples who were in these “arrangements” stayed for their children or money reasons. After interviewing some of the children of these couples overwhelmingly the children were aware of the marital problems despite their parents attempt at hiding it. TRAGIC.

If I can’t be intimate with you, and we’ve tried on more than one occasion and its not working, I’m sorry it’s time to move on. Torturing children thinking you are giving them a good example when they are reading right through the foolishness has dire consequences..in my opinion.

This really floored me.

Would you or could you be in a sexless marriage. If so, please explain?

*hits my virtual two step*

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Family• Marriage• Milestones

LOVE

Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m not a big celebrater (is that a word) of the day because love is to be given on a daily basis but I’ll take a few chocolates.

I am going to repost my Valentines post  of how the Mr. and I became husband and wife. If you were reading last year this is old news. For my new readers here is my unlikely love story!!

 

*cue Mary J. Blige and Method Man “All I Need and loop in your head as many times as necessary to get through this post*

Once upon a time in June of 1998 I met a guy named A.D. Initially I was not impressed, he grew up very different from me and being as shallow minded as I was at the time I wanted nothing to do with a freshman college student who didn’t own a car, or who grew up in the mean streets of Miami, Fl. At the urging of a mutual friend of ours that actually went to high school with him, I agreed to ONE conversation. As cliche as it sounds the rest was history!

We dated from June 1998 to August of 1999. We decided to go our separate ways and rekindled our relationship in December of 2002. Amazingly during that time I never saw him more than two times and we lived in a very small town but people always said he would ask about me. We agreed to give it another shot prior to my graduating from college and moving from Tallahassee to Charlotte.

He graduated in 2003 and joined me in Charlotte

We lived in Charlotte for a year and a half before moving to Atlanta. About a year after moving here we got engaged..Woot Woot!!

Then a week later we discovered I was pregnant…After all those years, our luck ran out!

Shortly before Lil Man was born we got married at the courthouse.

You see my boy..Peace up, A town down

We had our own little family

Shortly after our trip to Disney in Summer 2009, We decided it was time to add to the roster

All of this because these two people fell in love….

Moral of the story is, if you haven’t found your “love” yet be patient and overlook the material things. If I had stayed hung up on the fact that he didn’t have a car and grew up in the projects this post would have never been!

Happy Valentines Day!

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Marriage• The Mr.

*sings in my Tony, Toni, Tone voice* It’s Our Anniversary!!!

Today is our 6 year anniversary! I don’t say much about the Mr. However, seeing that today is our anniversary I will sing his praises. He is the most incredible man. He works so hard for us and hardly complains. He listens, he supports me in all of my foolery. He is truly a wonderful man. Our marriage and relationship took time to get here but we were determined and we did it. I can say I married my soul mate. I’m so happy to be his wife!

Here is a post I wrote last year about our struggles in marriage and how we overcame them. Go read —-> HERE! Just not sure anyone was reading the blog at that time…hate to let those words go to waste!

On a lighter note, for those of you who are new here I am reposting my Valentine’s day post..It’s an unlikely love story that details how the Mr. and I came to be one. Enjoy!

Have a good weekend.

*cue Mary J. Blige and Method Man “All I Need and loop in your head as many times as necessary to get through this post*

Once upon a time in June of 1998 I met a guy named A.D. Initially I was not impressed, he grew up very different from me and being as shallow minded as I was at the time I wanted nothing to do with a freshman college student who didn’t own a car, or who grew up in the mean streets of Miami, Fl. At the urging of a mutual friend of ours that actually went to high school with him, I agreed to ONE conversation. As cliche as it sounds the rest was history!

We dated from June 1998 to August of 1999. We decided to go our separate ways and rekindled our relationship in December of 2002. Amazingly during that time I never saw him more than two times and we lived in a very small town but people always said he would ask about me. We agreed to give it another shot prior to my graduating from college (FAMU to be exact) and moving from Tallahassee to Charlotte.

He graduated in 2003 and joined me in Charlotte

We lived in Charlotte for a year and a half before moving to Atlanta. About a year after moving here we got engaged..Woot Woot!!

Then a week later we discovered I was pregnant…After all those years, our luck ran out!

Shortly before Lil Man was born we got married at the courthouse.

You see my boy..Peace up, A town down

We had our own little family

Shortly after our trip to Disney in Summer 2009, We decided it was time to add to the roster

All of this because these two people fell in love….

Moral of the story is, if you haven’t found your “love” yet be patient and overlook the material things. If I had stayed hung up on the fact that he didn’t have a car and grew up in the projects this post would have never been!

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