Soapbox – Unlikely Martha

Life• Rant• Soapbox

{Internet Envy} YOUR Perception is YOUR Reality

If you’ve perused the internets for a while you’ve come across that person who just seems to have it all together. They cook every night, they create shopping lists and everything they’ve ever tried from Pinterest turns out perfect, while the rest of us gasp in awe and question ourselves on just how does she do it.

I assure you sometimes she does have it all together and sometimes she just wants you to think she does and that is fine with me. See, I’ve lived long enough to know that a tidy kitchen or a perfect ponytail on the worst day will never pull the wool over my eyes when it comes to the fact that WE all have our issues and problems. If a person wishes to share the good, I appreciate that. I have enough problems in my life than to spend my precious minutes reading about yours over and over and over again.

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I’m just a little sick and tired of reading posts and statuses where people are whining and accusing people of trying to perpetuate a perfect life on social media. If what I read is correct unless a person is continuously complaining or sharing every bad moment of their life they are somehow perpetrating a life of joy and happiness? I can not with that. I need answers.

How I see it is, in this age of over sharing, blogging, tweeting, Instagramming etc. if a person is sharing the highlight of their day and you take that into they are faking and shaking, they may be but the reality is they shared a moment of their life and the issue lies on the outsider looking in. Unless said person created a caption that said “I have a perfect life” any illusions of grandeur fall solely on the person observing. I won’t lie and say I haven’t sucked my teeth or unfollowed a few for just doing the absolute most, as there is a thin line between sharing and showing out but they have the right, and I have use of my unfollow button.

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In all seriousness, I would love to see moms and women in general stop comparing themselves in a negative manner to women they come across on the internet. Every woman whose blog I come across I consider myself on even ground with her as I wish all women could. I am enjoying crafting more and more, as I see women who are crafty on their blogs I read and try to learn. I see their gifts as my own motivation. I don’t want to be her, I just want a Cricut so I can make my child’s birthday invitations.

I suppose the start would be making sure that we are confident in ourselves, so that what somebody is doing or saying on the internet is not making us feel any less about our own lives when we don’t actually know her outside of the confines of a typed web address, well designed blog space, and a plethora of Instagram collages.

Truth of the matter is her house just might be that tidy and her husband may just be that great, but do you know how long her walk was, and if you’ve read the poem “Footprints” you may understand that at some point she may have been carried.

Use other people as motivation. You’ll never know their true journey but know they had one, and for the love of all things shiny and pretty and perfect….Stay in your lane.

This was a rant.

Have you ever felt envious of someone you’ve come across on the internet? Is the internet helping or hindering us on our personal journeys to happiness? Be honest.

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Life• Me• Rant• Soapbox

Race and Change

I admire people who say they don’t see color when it comes to people. I have often speculated what that might feel like because being truthful I know nothing about that. Before I move on let me clarify I don’t have a racist bone in my body but when I look at people I definitely see color.

The color that I see doesn’t affect my feelings about that person, so perhaps that is what people are referring to when they share their blindness to color, but the over analytical in me won’t let statements as the aforementioned rest lightly.

Source

So I’ll get to the point.

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Me• Rant• Soapbox

No Explanation Needed

I tell you one thing that really makes me angry is when I tell people that I don’t work and they come back with the saying…”Must be Nice” with a hint of sarcasm. See, the problem with this is people always look at outward appearances never considering the struggles one might have overcome to be in the place they are now.

Life has dealt everyone last one of us some blows. For some harsher than others but nonetheless we can uniformly agree that struggle escapes no one. In the past I have found myself feeling bad that for once in my life I’m in a good place. An excellent place. A place I thought I would never see as life seemed to beat my arse for what seemed like an eternity but was more like 3 years. Ailing mother, young child, MBA student, struggling marriage..all hats that I wore during this rough period in my life. I never thought things would get better. But they did, I just remember repeating to myself…trouble don’t last always, and holding on to an encouraging word told to me that said “God ALWAYS comes to see about His children… Trust me He does.

Sooo when people come to me with the “It must be nice” I respond, yes its nice to sleep on a pillowtop after sleeping on two twin mattresses pushed together on the floor for two years or, it’s nice to drive a reliable air conditioned car after driving a car that you had to bucket puddles of water out of when it rained or you had to constantly worry about making it home without breaking down on the side of the road with a small child. Nobody don’t see them struggles though.

Patience, faith and strength got me where I am now and I’m really thinking I don’t owe anybody any kind of explanation regarding where I am in life or how I got here. I paid my dues. So the next time I get a response of that type I think I am just going to say, yes it is. Its real niiiiiiiiiice here in my happy place.

Excuse my rant. *steps off soapbox* *drops mic* *curtsies* *blows kisses* *pageant waves* *skips and whistles* *throws deuces and says Peeeaaaaace in my Gina from Martin voice*

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Life• Soapbox

Oxymoron?

Lately my mind space has been occupied with a dilemma I’ve been having regarding my relationship with another individual. In the past, said person has spewed some pretty hurtful words and even more shady actions. After receiving what I felt was a heartfelt apology about their uncouth behavior and lack of civility, I was under the impression that we could indeed move on as friends and not look back at the past.

Wrong.

Lately, this person has been trying to reach out to me and I am feeling myself becoming enraged about the whole situation all over again. I hate reliving the past. I truly believe in the whole let bygones be bygones thing. I mean how can you ever move forward if you keep looking in the rearview mirror.

So here’s the deal. I am thinking that I am still upset because I never got to say my piece. I listened to their side of the story, and let it be. Although the relationship was never like it once was, it has been functional. Phone calls, emails, texts, social media, you know the story. I never felt like I needed to justify my feelings, so I didn’t. I didn’t solicit an apology it was brought to me. So now, some time later I am finding myself upset again. I mean so upset that I can’t answer the phone or have any contact with the person. It is not going to be too much longer that I can continue on this way based on the level of our association.

Here’s where you come in.

Do I reach out to the person and let them know why I was initially upset?

Do I totally get over myself, and force myself to move on. After all I had the opportunity to say my piece and I didn’t?

Do I throw the deuces, whip my hair back and forth and give them the *side eye* if they continue to try reaching out?

I am really thinking I should pray about it and ask God to allow me to fully forgive them and move on as normal without opening my mouth…easier said than done.

Is it really possible to forgive AND forget?

Whatchu say?!

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