Unlikely Martha

Then There Was No More Santa + 2017 Reflections

There are tons of things I fail to hit the mark on, like a plethora. However, one life skill that I take pride in is my effort to always see and respect other individuals ways of thinking, opinions and habits…and by respect I mean keeping my comments to myself. I have not one heaven, nor any place for that matter  to permanently place anyone in, so I just try to stay in my lane and worry about what we have going on. Such has been my thoughts about the whole Santa Claus discussion during the holidays.

I believed in Santa Claus and my children were allowed to believe in Santa.  Enters the internet and my perusing of numerous stories regarding the distrust issues we apparently push on our kids with the Santa shenanigans. Read so many I started overthinking  what Addi’s reaction would be when I revealed to her NEXT Christmas  that ole Santa wasn’t real. I was legit stressed, more than certain I would give her trust issues into her adulthood as evidenced by some of the stories I read.

Christmas Eve commenced as normal. We gathered in front of the fireplace  laughing and roasting our annual s’mores when she hits us with the, “Is Santa real?”

Y’all. We all started looking at each other like what do we say. After a whole awkward silence because no one wanted to go first, I found my voice and it went as such…..

Me: “Weeeeellllllllll, if you use your imagination Santa is anybody you want him to be!”  Lame, I know.

She saw all through that and replied, “Just tell me the truth” complete with hand motions and laughter. I tried to keep it up but she wouldn’t stop saying, “Just tell me the truth.” It was then in the most reluctant manner that I handed over my last Santa experience as a parent.

I was really in my feelings for a day or two.

I’ve reasoned that Christmas this year was mediocre at best simply because that was the tone of my year. While I mentioned I wasn’t really feeling Christmas this year, I scrounged up enough energy to put a little something into Christmas morning, so much so that I didn’t capture one photo. We spent a lazy morning together, we ventured outside for Addison to take a whirl on her new bike, and finished off our day with minimal fanfare in front of the fireplace.

On this last day of 2017 I must say this year has been one filled with the most adulting and aggravating life things on record. Ninety-five percent of the drama was struggling through another round of self growth. Apparently self growth is a dynamic thing, and every couple of years it will do its very best to suck the life out of you. However, we must always do the work to become better and greater, no matter how hard it is. I’m an advocate for always speaking your truth even when you mess up, that way people have nothing to hold over your head.

This year, I shared my defeats and insecurities with friends just out of a need to verbalize them and I had folks show up in the clutch with no strings attached. At times it reduced me to tears and served one of the greatest lessons in making me want to be a better and available  friend moving forward.

Tonight I’m really hoping to put 2017 behind me and gather all of the lessons I’ve learned about myself and people and step into 2018 humbled, and better for it. I’m ready to hit the ground running.

How was your 2017? Care to share any lessons you learned that really resonated with you as we go into the new year? You never know it might help somebody!



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1 Comment

  • Reply
    December 31, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    Going through my reader, I’ve noticed a common theme so far with the posts I’ve read: 2017 was challenging. And to be honest, I’m glad it’s over. It took a lot out of me to focus on the good that happened this year. And as hard as it was, I was able to find those good things and cling on to them. And this is something that I plan to continue doing in the coming year — clinging on to the good things. Like my life depends on it.

    Happy New Years to you and your family!
    Carla recently posted..Goals and Grace

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