Lil Man NaBloPoMo Parenting

Allowance?

We have a problem. My son is at that stage where when I tell him to do something there has to be a monetary exchange discussion. No sir.

I’ve spoken on this before regarding a lot of us being able to provide things for our children that we didn’t have and them having a sense of entitlement. Since when do I need to pay you to clean your room, but the part that is rattling my nerves is the shade he throws when I inform him there will be no payment made for things that should be done.

So the Mr. thinks an allowance should be given. Sort of a real life show that when you work you earn money that you need to save…blah, blah, blah. I believe in allowance, I do. But I’m just not sure for what. I don’t think you should be paid for doing chores or doing well in school.

Just being curious, I asked him what would he buy with his allowance…THIS

Except he called it an i Computer

Poor thing. How much work would that entail.

What’s your take. Did you receive an allowance as a child? Do you pay out an allowance? If so, how much and for what?

 

 

23 Comments

  • Reply
    K. Rock
    November 21, 2011 at 8:12 am

    Like you, I believe in allowance for kids but not for everyday tasks. My son’s chores include cleaning his room, taking out the trash, and keeping his bathroom clean. If he does something extra special like helping Dad in the yard or doing a super job helping me with his little sisters, we may drop a few dollars on him. But what pleased me most was when I asked him what he was going to do with his allowance money and he told me “I don’t know. I already have everything I want.”

  • Reply
    Mrs. Pancakes
    November 21, 2011 at 8:30 am

    This is a good one. I didn’t get allowance so I’ve always believed that my kids wouldn’t either because we all do household chores and it’s not associated with money. But then I always know the other side where like the Mr., Parents use allowance as a way to teach work
    Ethic and saving and budgeting. Both sides are good I think, maybe there’s a middle ground…where you can give allowance for things that are not related directly to chores–of course I don’t what those are but it made sense in my head as I was thinking about it..good luck Mimi!! Keep us posted:-) ooh k.Rock had some great ideas!!

  • Reply
    Roses daughter
    November 21, 2011 at 9:16 am

    I got an allowance, but it was a just because allowance. I didn’t get paid for doing what we were supposed to do. Cleaning your room. Washing the dishes. We did get “bonus” money at report card time. But only if it was an A or a certain grade point average. You didn’t get xtra money for being adverage

  • Reply
    Nerd Girl
    November 21, 2011 at 9:54 am

    I got an allowance once I was in junior high – my mother in particular is a strong believer in having “run-around money” – says it helps keep you out of trouble.

    I’ve recently started paying Lovegirl $1/week if she does everything on her chore chart and does it without complaint. In addition to keeping her room clean, she has to empty the two small bathroom trashcans, bring the trashcan in from the curb, and put away the silverware. She has to put .10 in her savings piggy bank, .10 in church, the other .80 is hers to go wild with πŸ™‚

    • Reply
      Mimi
      November 22, 2011 at 12:18 am

      I love this idea of the $1 breakdown. I will likely be stealing it!

  • Reply
    Melisa - Mommy This and That
    November 21, 2011 at 10:07 am

    I didn’t get an allowance and both DH and I feel that you should not be rewarded for doing things that are expected. You could try and think of things that aren’t expected and give him an allowance when he does that x amount of times?

  • Reply
    kita
    November 21, 2011 at 10:32 am

    I got an allowance but it was just that an allowance. I did not get paid to do regular chores that I had to do. Now if I did not do my chores my allowance did get ghost but other than that I use to get 10 dollars a week then I started doing things to get my own money. We do give the boy money to buy things on his own so he can understand the value of it.

  • Reply
    Baby Shopaholic
    November 21, 2011 at 10:43 am

    I agree with you. Allowance for doing what you are supposed to be doing. Maybe find something extra, like yard work or doing some work with the Mister.

  • Reply
    Latorsha
    November 21, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Growing up we got an allowance each week……and might get a little something for good grades. I don’t think allowance should be given to do what is expected, but can be used as a tool to teach kids about money & responsibility. For example if the child wanted to buy something he could save his money earned to pay for a portion of it. However, not sure if that would work for the icomputer. lol

  • Reply
    MrsTDJ
    November 21, 2011 at 11:19 am

    No, I don’t agree with an allowance as a result of household chores. I did not receive an allowance, but like Pookah’s mom, I got a little something something for extra, bonus tasks. I was expected to work hard in school and bring home at least 2 A’s; any A’s in addition to those got a few $$. I could ask for extra chores beyond my normal dishes, setting table, vacuuming, cleaning my room, etc and I’d get a few pennies for those too.

  • Reply
    BossyGirl
    November 21, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I never got an allowance but I give my oldest son one. I want him to understand how much hardwork goes into earning money. It’s working because he is so stingy with his money!

  • Reply
    GG
    November 21, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Girl! I have so been through this with my son and I totally see both you and your husband’s perspective. My son thinks there should be some type of payment or “treat” for every chore, good grade, etc. So, we want to reward him but we want him to understand that the only reward he should expect and his motivation for doing things should be how he feels about himself! *sigh* Tough to teach this to a 9 year old boy πŸ™‚ I don’t know. I say all that to say that I think a small allowance is a good idea, but with plenty of lip service and guidance so that he understands why he’s getting the allowance. He might not get it right right away, but he will πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Krissy
    November 21, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    give the boy an allowance. He’ll appreciate the little things so much more.

  • Reply
    Stesha
    November 21, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    My grandmother did give me an allowance. I think I was the only kid on the block who did receive one at the time. I think at a certain age kids should get a weekly allowance. We don’t pay for chores or grades. We pay you for unexpected things like raking the yard or helping out with the pets. These are things the husband or I usually do.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  • Reply
    Candace (NYStateofMom)
    November 21, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    We didn’t get allowance and they were very clear that you weren’t getting paid for what you were supposed to do anyway (ie. keep a clean room in THEIR house, get good grades in the school THEY paid for, etc.). I however, believe in allowance because of this because at a point the kids need their own.

  • Reply
    KalleyC
    November 21, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Nope, my parents never gave us allowance, but we did have spending money when we went to highschool. We could do what we want with it, but the intent was lunch.

    I don’t beleive in paying a child for doing what is expected of them, maybe rewarding them for going the extra mile? I don’t know yet. I have to seriously think about how I’m gonna cross that bridge.

  • Reply
    IAAMM
    November 21, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    Yes, I was paid an allowance as a child. However, that is not a rule of thumb in my house. Conversation with my kids, ME: “No, you do not get an allowance. You live in this house like everybody else. You sleep comfortably. You eat insatiably. You bathe. The list goes on and on. You have the responsibility to help keep the house clean and sanitized. Too, what you mess up, you clean up. That’s that! KIDS: Pouting … LOL …oh well.

  • Reply
    Dre Davis
    November 22, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    I didn’t get an allowance, per say, but I did receive monetary rewards for making good grades and other academic achievements. I wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of giving my children an allowance, because I felt that their father and I already purchase the things they need for them. Granted, they are only 5 and 6. However, their father does give them “allowances” for having clean rooms during random “room checks” and occasional good behavior rewards. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but that’s another story for another day.

    When they get older, I may change my mind about the whole allowance issue. Who knows?

    • Reply
      Mimi
      November 23, 2011 at 12:28 pm

      I’m on the fence as well. I do believe they should learn the value of money. I am giving some serious thought to this. I would like to start off the new year with some sort of plan.

  • Reply
    MzNewy
    November 23, 2011 at 10:56 am

    We give allowance…but we also dock his pay. If he has to be told to do his chores…deduction. Complains about them – deduction. Phone call from school – major deduction. One pay period he owed us money. LOL.

    • Reply
      Mimi
      November 23, 2011 at 12:27 pm

      Cries laughing at him owing you money. Now this is one I hadn’t heard of but makes total sense. I would feel like I am giving him an allowance to learn the importance of money but if he doesn’t do what he is told there are consequences. I like, I like!!!

  • Reply
    Rhonda
    November 23, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    I give my kids allowance but like everyone said, its just that, and allowance. Not for doing chores, but for them having their own money so they can value the stuff that they buy. Mine are a lot older (18, 17, 17, 13) now so if I have to even open my mouth to tell them to do stuff they already know is suppose to be done, they know not to ask me for an allowance come Friday.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do and keep us posted!

  • Reply
    Diva (in Demand)
    November 23, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    I didn’t get an allowance but I received congratulations money for every “A” on my report card.

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