On September 2 my husband and I celebrated T E N years of marriage. Seeing that we are not of the fancy persuasion for such things we kept the festivities light, mostly because it fell on a Wednesday and I’m kind of funny about asking people to keep my children especially during the week. Ten years ago we excitedly repeated our vows to a judge at the courthouse when I was nearly 7 months pregnant. We made the hard decision to cancel our wedding after finding out we were expecting . I did contemplate throwing a big shindig for this year, then we started looking at the costs and decided there were bigger fish to fry than to plan a wedding after already being married for 10 years.
Instead we took a trip downtown to this new attraction called Paranoia Quest. Apparently this concept is pretty new around Atlanta, and basically we had to solve a series of clues needed to complete a mission and get ourselves out of three separate rooms to win the game. We lost, but had a ton of fun. Not as much fun I’m sure as having our pockets $10K+ lighter and having partied into the night with a few hundred of our closest friends but…..you know.
Our game time was 6:45, we got there a little early so we decided to take a little excursion around the
sketchy streets of downtown Atlanta while waiting on one of our favorite couples to join us who also happened to be celebrating their anniversary.
In hindsight the game was pretty indicative of some portions of what it takes to have a great marriage. A few takeaways for me were:
- Keep People Out of Your Business: There were 6 of us in the group total. Two we knew, two we didn’t. It was utter chaos trying to work with that many people to figure out a simple clue. I liken that pretty much to keeping your circle small. We all have issues and it’s great to have a sounding board but keep it at a board and not a billboard…you feel me?!
- Differing Perspectives Can Be Good: Solving those clues required different perspectives and for that the group was great. As a wife I like to think I know everything and I don’t. Being open to criticism and new ways of thinking keeps things fresh and exciting.
- Ask for and Accept Help: There was a point in the game where the couple we didn’t know insisted on hovering over one of the clues and we couldn’t get close. That was aggravating. In a marriage if you can’t figure something out, or need assistance it is okay to ask your mate for help. No good in trying to be the big wig if you are hindering progress, or festering anger. I have learned over the years not to expect my husband to know what I am thinking. While yes it is aggravating to ask for the dishes to be watched when my eyes aren’t the only ones that see them, I just ask. It’s simpler than starting an argument, and at the end of the day I didn’t have to wash the dishes.
- Be a Team Player: When we all worked together to solve a clue we were like Kindergarteners who had been given a special snack. It just felt good. I’ve had to learn over the past year that I can’t make all of the rules and expect him to follow them. We need to work together to make sure our house runs smoothly and everyone’s feelings are being considered. We mastered that this year and it makes a huge difference.
- Let Loses Be Your Motivation to Keep Trying: I mentioned earlier we lost the game, but the first thing my husband and I said was, “We’re coming back!” Let challenges push you to keep trying, utilizing what you did right each time to get to the finish line. We’ll go back in a few weeks and use the few clues we remember to hopefully get us to win the challenge. Life has been the same way for us. As new challenges present themselves we use old theories and build on them to solve the problem. It takes time and effort but the satisfaction of jumping another hurdle is so worth it.
Have you been to one of these places before? Have any additional marriage advice tips to add?