Unlikely Martha
Lil Man NaBloPoMo Parenting

You are NOT Invited…

A couple of days ago my son mentioned to me that a girl in his class was having a birthday party and that after all of the invitations were passed out he didn’t receive one. I brushed it off thinking that maybe he was mistaken and explained to him that maybe only girls were invited. He politely told me and I quote, “that’s not possible because Terrell got one”, and he specifically stated the party is going down on Saturday at Chuck E. Cheese and that he wanted to go. What’s a mother to do. Without much thought I told him that while he is on break next week I will personally take him to Chuck E.Cheese…and then I started thinking and by that I mean I got a teeeeny bit heated by the situation.

Why am I mad? Well let me first say, my anger is a bit preliminary. I am not really sure that all of the students in the class were invited as I feel that I may be a bit “petty” if I ask the teacher about it, but I think I will, just to make sure he wasn’t looked over accidentally. Next, if the case in fact does prove that certain students were invited and others weren’t I am thinking what type of mother of a preschooler would have a party and not invite the entire class. For my son’s birthday, I brought cupcakes to the school and we did a personal party later with our family friends to avoid having to foot the cost of 45 partying preschoolers. Then, my thought is if indeed the mother didn’t want to invite the entire class why do you send the invitations to be passed out by the teacher.

Am I overreacting. Maybe I am because my poor baby has gotten his feelings hurt, and the Mr. and I had to have the talk with him this evening explaining that he will not always be included in everything and that its fine. But its really not, again I would never do that to a child at this age. Again this is all based on a very bright 5 year old’s observation.

Based on the facts given here, am I overreacting? Would you ask the teacher about it or just let it be?

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9 Comments

  • Reply
    New York State of Mom
    November 18, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    I don't know if I would ask the teacher because it's not like it's her party/invites. I'm mad with you but I would go with your plan to just take him to Chuckie Chesse on your own, maybe w a friend. The talk was a good one, that he won't be included but it's ok.

  • Reply
    Rose's Daughter
    November 18, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    I thought that at that age, EVERYONE got invited? And if you give the teacher the invitations to pass out, you would think they whole class would be invited? Hmmmm. I say take him to Chuck E. Cheese on your own and make sure he has a REALLY good time!

  • Reply
    AO xoxxo
    November 19, 2010 at 6:07 am

    Ohhh…..I feel you anger and pain for your baby! It breaks my heart for him too! I think at that age everyone should be included! I remember when I was little my mom would bring treats to the school for my entire class to celebrate my birthday and then we would have a family party at home. Just like you did for your little one! That way everyone is included and no one's feelings get hurt. Kids are only little once. They are too young to experience their feelings getting hurt. I think you should ask the teacher. It never hurts to ask and it will probably make you feel better once you have an answer. That way you won't be left wondering. The more I write about this, the more "fired up" I am getting for you and your little boy. Hang in there and keep us posted on this!

  • Reply
    Vic
    November 19, 2010 at 6:59 am

    I've had it with teachers! This happened to my 11 year old when she was in elementary and it still happens…and yes it is unfair and mean….but she can get over it…we'll throw our own PARTAY:) xoxo

  • Reply
    Dayka (Life +Style)
    November 19, 2010 at 7:26 am

    i agree with you! if you're not going to invite the whole class, the invitations need to be mailed out. kids @ that age are too young to understand, and it's really just mean anyway. wow. i wonder if the parent will even care when the teacher tells her some kids were upset . . .

  • Reply
    Niya
    November 19, 2010 at 8:42 am

    What a ridiculous situation! Who would give a teacher invitations for selected children and what teacher would pass them out excluding students in the class?! I need names!!

  • Reply
    Mrs. King
    November 19, 2010 at 11:33 am

    I understand your feelings. But I gotta say, my daughter just had her 5 year old party in Sept. and the place where we held it had a max of 12 kids. Considering she has a little sister and 3 cousins around her age. Plus my friends kids (another 2 people). We only had 6 spots for people in her class, so we couldn't invite everyone. At her school, the teacher just puts it in their bookbags to take home. So usually, the kids don't know about the invite until they leave school. That being said, I'm not sure if Chuck E. Cheese has a max…

  • Reply
    Casey Martinez
    November 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    Very poor tact on the teacher's part. She should know better how much things like that could hurt the other kids feelings..when i was in sixth grade my teacher a female had a slumber party at her house with the "popular' girls in the class and don't even ask me how she knew who they were but, I just knew that I wans't invited and it was a really ugly feeling. I feel for your son because that just reinforces feelings that he shouldn't have to feel this young. Yes, approach the teacher and lovingly address the issue. Not cool of the teacher or the parent!

  • Reply
    Mommy This and That
    November 20, 2010 at 7:02 am

    If it was enough to get you thinking and make you mad, then you should ask.

    The rule when I was in school was if you were not inviting the whole class, invites had to be handed out AFTER school. Then the rule changed to being handed out in school if you were having an all girl's party or all boy's.

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