Thank you Athleta for powering this post. I was compensated, all opinions are mine.
Christmas Eve 2009, I vividly remember waiting to be called back for my gender scan, and repeating to myself it’s a boy. Once we made it back into the room and the scan was happening I remember staring intently at the screen waiting for the sonogram to confirm that I was indeed having a boy. Waiting for confirmation on what I had been telling myself since I found out I was pregnant because I didn’t want to be disappointed.
More than anything I wanted a girl. I’d wanted a boy the first time and just knew Lady Luck wouldn’t oblige me twice. By the time I had gotten to the appointment I was good and certain I was having a boy and was good with it.
With baited breath in the darkness we waited as she scanned and measured, and scanned and measured some more and typed important stuff into the computer. Finally she said, ” Do you want to know the sex?”
She rolled over my belly a few more times and in the most nonchalant voice said, “It’s a girl.”
My first reply was, “You sure?” I commence to go in-depth about a story I recently read about a lady who was told she was expecting a girl and had a boy instead.
She attempted to soothe my worries by zooming in a little more. Once I was convinced, I shed a few thug tears. One, because it was a girl and two, it solidified the hanging of the closed sign on the baby shop.
Through every stage of mothering her, I’ve looked forward to another phase that would take me from just nurturing her to being an example, a role model, someone she would want to be like.
A lot of my mothering decisions hinge on me wanting my children to have fond memories of their childhood with me as their mother. Their father plays a different role, most people will tell you they have different views of their parents.
My narrative as their mother is mine to create and I do my best to ensure that story is weaved of love, experiences and discipline.
She’s seven now and it is so easy to observe her starting to craft her own thoughts of me. She learned to ride her bike this Summer and frequently requests that I join her. We laugh and I tell her how great she’s doing and I know these are memories that she will hold on to for a lifetime.
It’s safe to say I’ve reached that stage of motherhood and it’s bitter sweet.
She tells me how she wants to write a blog like me and do all of these creatively amazing things and I know she is watching. She no longer needs me to tie her shoe or teach her to ride a bike. She now needs me to reinforce her accomplishments and encourage her through her defeats. She wants to take walks with me and tell me about her day and help me in the kitchen.
She wants to dress like me, she’ll pick up something in the store and tell me how much it resembles a piece of clothing that I own. Mommy and me styles are so chic and add a little something to the mother/daughter dynamic. Athleta has created a chic line of women and Athleta girl clothing that is stylish and functional. With her dance schedule and my need to be comfortable in keeping up with her along with my need to hit the gym while she is in practice, these pieces fit perfectly our active lives. I’ve never known a pair of leggings to fit like these, I can’t speak for her but the fabric and fit hold everything together in the best way. We’re so excited to step out this fall in our matching gear.
When it comes to mothering her, I’ve come to realize the easy part was changing diapers and feeding. As I move into the most difficult part that includes building her into an incredible caring human, who is in touch with her emotions, strong, assertive and loving is the most important work. It’s daunting to think that certain aspects of her adulthood will be crafted from these years so I give them my all. I’m stern when needed but also apologize for days when I’m not my best. Seems like just when you think you have this mothering thing figured out, it keeps evolving.
Fight the good fight Mamas!! Cause as someone said
“To the world you are just one person, but to someone you are the world”